


The Hockey Player And The Ballerina

by larrysbitchx



Series: The Hockey player and the Ballerina [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ballet, Alternate Universe - Hockey, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Anorexia, Blow Jobs, Bottom Louis, Crossdressing Kink, F/M, First Time, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Heterosexual Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Intersexuality, M/M, Rape, Self-Harm, Smut, Top Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-08-21
Packaged: 2018-02-07 18:55:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 33,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1909989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrysbitchx/pseuds/larrysbitchx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is a 3 time USA IBC gold medalist ballerina and Harry is a hockey player for team Canada</p><p>Louis has a secret that comes with consequences and difficulties. </p><p>He wants Harry and Harry wants him </p><p>But his secret is the only thing keeping them apart. </p><p>(I think the tags and the title pretty much explains it)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1: Before

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has made me restless. I've been planning to write this for months but never got the chance to. Here it is. It's kinda crappy. But I'm really tired I've been on the computer hour after hour typing this up. I would like to thank @offdreaming for proof reading and helping me improve the fic because I suck at proof reading. I hope it's not as crappy as I assume it is.

It had been nearly three months since the accident. The unmentionable.

Louis Tomlinson was a three time USA IBC gold medalist (Olympics except ballet version). He started dancing at a very young age and enrolled at The Royal Ballet School in London. When he turned 19 he performed at The Royal Opera House.

But after the accident Louis’ parents sent him to his grandparents’ in Canada. The company for Canada accepted him into their association, but with his injury Louis was not allowed to dance for 6 months. His doctor had said he was not eligible and it was very risky. For the time being, Louis had to be an instructor for a class of 6-8 year olds.

As he jumped from both feet to one in a Sissone, he extended his leg, straightening. He was done now. He had been at this studio for five hours now. If he got caught he would be busted and his grandparents would physically handcuff him to his bed. He wasn’t exactly done with the healing process, seeing as he was only halfway through the six months he was supposed to keep from dancing.

He couldn’t go back home for a shower, nor use the shower at the ballet studio as people might recognize him. However, there was an ice arena close by, supposing no one would bother him or recognize him he decided he could walk there to take a shower.

 

Slipping on his jacket and some shoes Louis exited through the back entrance, heading for the streets. The cold spring breeze ran chills down his spine.

Soon enough he spotted the arena and begun to make his way there.

Opening the back door Louis walked straight to the changing room. He hung up his jacket and peeled off his remaining clothes before wrapping a towel around himself. He didn’t need to be reminded of not only his scar but what he was. And he was not what he wanted to be.

He stalked over to the showers but had to stop when he heard him.

“I’m falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held onto

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you”

 

A boy. A very cute boy was standing there. In one of the open showers. He had a nice sculpted body, Tarzan like hair surround his beautiful face. The features of his face astounded Louis. Dimples, a perfectly shaped jaw made for hickies and plump, kissable lips .And his voice was amazing not to mention, raspy and deep. Louis was not only begging for him to go out with him but he was drooling. Boys like that are either taken, straight, or gay but not open to dating a hermaphrodite. Snapping himself out of his delusionary thoughts he cleared his throat.

“Forgetting all I'm lacking

Completely and complete

I'll take your invitat-“ The boy opened his eyes and stared at Louis for a second before swearing.

“Shit I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to like..um” Losing his train of thoughts he was clearly checking Louis out, but Louis was too oblivious to perceive what he was actually attempted to do. Louis stared at him bluntly.

“Um, m’names Harry, you are?” he inquired,letting his curiosity take over.

“About to take a shower” Louis sarcastically replied. And then it hit Harry. He was the boy he had thought was cute. The ballet dancer who had that terrible accident a couple months back.

“You’re Louis Tomlinson aren’t you?” He asked but the answer he had expected was a “No”. Louis Tomlinson wasn’t supposed to be doing any physical activity until six months after his accident. Ok maybe he had a little obsession but the boy had caught his attention ever since he saw his cute face.

“Yeah I’m Louis Tomlinson nice to meet you Harry-“

“Styles” Harry jumped in. “Oh so you’re the hockey player for team Canada?” Nodding his head, he turned his shower off and grabbed a towel wrapping it around himself. “Nice to meet you Harry Styles” Louis joked, flashing his gorgeous million dollar smile while he extended his arm.

“Nice to meet you too Louis Tomlinson” Harry shook his hand, and left him to it.

But that was only their first encounter.

 

…

 

The second encounter they meet in the bathroom at a Ed Sheeran concert. Louis was washing his hands, while Harry was rushing into the bathroom. He was just about to run to the urinal when Louis turned around, in his way; stopping him.

“Oops,” Louis said as Harry replied “Hi” but that was that.

Louis quickly added a “Well it was nice seeing you, bye” and begun to exit. Harry went to reach out and grab his hand but decided against it. He wanted to say something but only a “Goodbye” came out. He had, had his eyes on Louis for a while now. It had been only a week since they first met, it had to be a coincidence, maybe even fate. And Harry believed in coincidences and fate.

…

 

The third time they bump into each other at a coffee shop.

Louis almost doesn’t recognize Harry but his familiar warm smile and those dimples hit him faster than a shooting star. The only reason as to why he couldn’t tell that was Harry was because he was wearing ridiculous hipster clothing, sitting with what looked like a cup of coffee, a vegan sandwich and a John Green book in his hand. ‘What a hipster’ he thought to himself. But for some strange reason Louis wasn’t annoyed.

He turned his head around, hoping Harry wouldn’t see him.

It almost worked.

That was until Louis had gotten his cup of herbal tea, and was about to exit. But someone bumped into him, causing his tea to spill onto his bare arm. “Ugh” He grunted, feeling a stinging shoot through his arm.

“I am so sorry I, L-Louis?” Harry begun but once he looked at the strangers face his face softened.

“Oh hi Harry,” Louis said, rolling his eyes and looking down.

“I can buy you a new t-shirt” Harry offered.

“No, it’s fine” Louis replied as he started to walk away, but Harry spoke up before Louis could isolate from the situation.

“At least let me take you out” Harry offered. But he was unclear, and Mr. Innocent-Louis, was thinking just as friends.

“Like going on a nature walk or something?” Louis questioned. He needed to be sure he wasn’t getting his hopes up for nothing.

“Sure if that’s your idea of a date” Harry said grinning, his bright emerald eyes sparkling as the sun light lazily focused on him.

“Oh um… a date… I was thinking as friends but sure” Louis calmly answered, even though he was screaming like a sixteen year old girl on the inside.

“So can I have your number?” Louis nodded his head, switching phones with Harry as he programmed his number into the boy’s phone.

His background was of a cat Louis’ thought to himself. He liked cats.

…

Louis never gets that date. Instead he does meet Harry once more.

It was one drunk night, where Zayn was looking for a new boy to direct his dick into their ass. Or the other way around Louis wasn’t really sure if he topped or bottomed. They were just sitting at the bar, Zayn drinking away as Louis just sipped on some ginger ale. He wasn’t legal yet so he couldn't drink. He was 20 after all. Plus he had to keep sober, knowing Zayn would most likely back out once he saw there were no hot guys at the shitty gay bar they were at.

But boy was Louis wrong.

“Can I have two of whatever he’s having?” A boy with a buzz cut brown hair, and brown puppy dog eyes said as he pointed out to Zayn.

Clearly checking him out, Zayn was intrigued by him and quickly drawn to him as an oblivious Louis sat beside him, trying to pour his heart out about his problems but noticing the fact that indeed Zayn had ditched him and had gone onto the dance floor with the other boy, engaged in a conversation with him.

“One um… is that ginger ale?” A deep voice questioned, startling Louis and making him jump up, landing harshly on his bum onto the stool he had took a seat at. Looking to his left, Louis realized it was the infamous Harry Styles. Well.. He was in some ways famous. But he was standing there, a white t-shirt with a red plaid shirt over top, a ridiculous scarf wrapped around his head, with black tight pants and brown boots. Harry noted that Louis was staring intensity up and down his image. A smirk curled upon his face as he caught Louis, who met his eyes once he was done checking him out and blushed furiously.

“So it’s ginger ale?” He questioned the younger boy. Leaning in he whispered lightly, “Mr.Underaged?” And with that Louis giggle at his little joke, while Harry just watched him with a bit of fondness in his eyes. He had just made this beautiful boy giggle. A laugh that could cure all the sadness in the world.

The bartender gave him a ginger ale, and Harry took the unoccupied seat that Zayn had once occupied with his ass and had left it for another guy’s ass. Taking a sip Louis began to make small talk.

“I may be underaged but I’m not the one wearing pants so tight that my penis can’t even breath,” Louis thought but accidentally said a loud. Harry spat the ginger ale he had drunk back into the cup, as he laughed at Louis. He was pretty sure he had some dripping down his nose, so he quickly wiped it off before Louis could notice.

“Fair enough Mr.Tomlinson I’m surprised you’re not drunk, making very naughty comments tonight aren't you? Say, how old are you really? I don’t want to be making a move on a minor” Harry said cheekily and Louis chuckled at his comment. He was really charming and amusing for a hockey player who beat the shit out of people for a living and pranced around a ice rink slapping a puck with a stick.

“I’m not a minor you fool I’m 20 years old. If anything you’re the only minor here Mr. Cheekytightpants.” Louis said shaking his head, chucking some ice down his mouth.

“I’m 23 Mr.Twinkyballerina” Harry spoke as he admired the boy biting on his ice.

“How would you know if I’m gay?” Louis inquired with a full mouth of crushed ice which he tried to cover his mouth in case he accidentally spat at the cute boy who was shameless flirting with him. Was he flirting with him? Was he even interested in Louis?

“I asked you on a date remember and you said yes. Not to mention we’re at a gay bar” Harry said stirring his drink with his straw, nervous of Louis’ reply.

“Yeah well you never called and I’m only here for my best friend Zayn so he could get some ass..or dick whichever he is into tonight” Louis said pointed out to a drunk Zayn, kissing the boy with the buzz cut and groping shamelessly at his ass.

“Why are you here?” Louis asked curiously.

“I’m here for the same reason as you. See, the boy that your best friend is holding onto boy as if his life depends on it happens to be my best friend Liam” Harry said as he pointed to them.

They watched as the two pulled apart and began to walk down to the coat room for their coats.

Louis awkwardly coughed as got off the stool himself. “I should go as well it’s getting late” He lied, knowing it was only around 9:30. He watched as Harry’s face dropped.

“But it’s only like 9:27, can’t you stay a few more minutes?” He asked, which flattered Louis really. The boy liked him enough to ask him to stay longer. He liked him right?

“I-I-um…” He really wanted to say yes. He wanted to stay but he knew it was going to be a big mistake. Someone was going to get hurt. And it was always Louis because once Harry finds out he isn’t a boy then he would leave. Louis knew if he stayed longer, Harry would be the gentlemen he is and buy Louis some drinks and get him drunk and next thing you know Harry escorts him home and they’re about to do it until Harry figures out Louis is a girl under the pants. Either that or Louis gets to really like him but he can’t date him because in the end he doesn’t want to get hurt but he has to painfully watch Harry and not be his and maybe even be someone else’s. Or- or even worse, Harry and him start to date and-

Louis stopped his thoughts as they had raced inside and out of his mind. He was going to be alone forever anyway. Instead of staying here he could go get a cat or something.

“No, I’m sorry. I really have to go. Hopefully I’ll see you around. Bye ‘Arry’” Louis said, accent coming out thick with disappointment. He got off the stool and left the curly haired fellow to himself. Before he left he looked once more behind him only to see Harry had already occupied himself with another man with blonde hair. At least he was good enough for Harry.

…

Louis went home that night and smashed a couple of his vases, screaming and shouting. He basically just lost the boy who took an interest in him. Maybe Harry wouldn’t care if Louis had a cunt instead of a dick. Right? It’s not what matters in the pants but in the heart. Besides, maybe Louis could pass as asexual as well.

He could be both right? A homosexual/asexual person?

That would be the most retarded thing ever that he has heard because when it comes to Louis, being asexual is not an option for him. Louis wanted to have sex. Like a lot of it. But the thing is he never has. Not once. He was a pure virgin.

Slamming the door to his room a couple of times, Louis cried as he slumped down the wall. He pulled his legs into his chest and buried his head between his arms. He was a loser who would never get the guy. Would he even be considered a homosexual if he had a cunt? He was so confused half of the time. The only people in the world that knew about his issue were his family and Zayn.

Once Zayn caught Louis hurting himself. He caught him cutting his wrists open, blood smearing everywhere. He had attempted suicide after the accident but Zayn had stopped him. He took him to the hospital after Louis overdosed himself with his painkillers. After that Zayn not only moved into a small flat with Louis but he took him to his therapy sessions.

His therapist didn't help much. Always saying the same bullshit to him.

Before he moved to Canada his old therapist told him he is indeed a boy and whatever is under his pants did not matter because someone will love him unconditionally and for him, not for what is under his pants.

She insisted for him to try, to try and fall in love.

He did. He really thought he did fall in love with the boy. Lucas was his name. They were happy together but their relationship was starting to fall apart. So Louis did what Louis should’ve done along time ago. He decided it was time they had sex, and when they were about to get it on Lucas pulled Louis’ underwear off and screamed.

He called him a lot of names. Freak of nature. A fucked up fag. A fat, ugly virgin. The list goes on. He beat Louis until there was a pool of blood surrounding him and left him there. That was before the accident.

After what Lucas had done to him, Louis was done with boys. He continued to work on his ballet. Achieving some of the most amazing things possible as a young ballet dancer.

But obviously Louis wasn’t done being affected by what others had told him. He still remembered the words his ex-boyfriend had engraved into his head. Most of them included the word fat. And Louis started to believe them. He was always the most curvy when he stared into the wide ranged mirror during practice. He was bigger than all the boys. And not in a appealing way. He had thick everything and fucking tummy.

“Louis sweetheart you have got to stop eating so much! You’re going to get fat with all the food you’ve been eating lately,” His mother once told him. She didn’t mean for it to hurt him and make himself hurt himself in ways a 20 year old boy should not but it did.

He was only eating so much comfort foods because he was hurt after what had happened with Lucas. And so Louis decided he wanted to lose a couple pounds after what his mother had told him. He didn’t know how to do lose the weight he desired so he starved himself.

He didn’t know what he was doing was going to be his newest addiction and his newest nightmare.

He didn’t know losing a “few” pounds would turn into 10 then 20 and then 60.

He just loved it. The feeling of being empty, his stomach eating out whatever it could get to keep Louis going. He loved being in control of something for once in his life.

It was great until it caused the accident.

His body had malnutrition to the point where when Louis was doing a performance, where he had to perform the scorpion his back snapped, causing him to fall to the ground. He had a crack in his back in a very dangerous spot on his lumbar region that could paralyze him from the waist below.

He was sent to the hospital immediately and pumped with an IV until he had the nutrients he had needed. The doctors had to put a cast around his waist, barely allowing him to move. Louis hated it. He was starting to fatten up again and he almost ruined his ballet career.

He had to choose though.

To starve or to dance.

He chose to dance.

But afterwards he was sent back to his grandparents.

Louis snapped back to reality, trying to forget about his past and the pain it brought upon him. He grabbed the small blade he had hid under his pillow, and dragged it across his skin.

…

Louis thought he had seen the last of Harry. And that Zayn was the one night-stand kind of guy. Not the “I had sex with him and then the next morning I decided to date him and we kinda sorta decided to just be boyfriends after a couple of dates because I really like him and I think he really likes me too” kind of a person. Apparently him and Liam decide to have a little party or something to let his friends and Zayn’s know. Louis didn’t know it was that kind of a party. He thought he was going to just hang with Zayn and Liam and maybe some of Liam’s friends. He was hoping Harry wouldn’t be there (Even though he really wanted him to be there).

“Louis hurry up, I don’t want to be late. You’re going to meet my boyfriend and all that” Zayn complained, a hint of whining in his voice. But Louis had to look gorgeous too. What if there was a cute boy there?

There he goes again with the cute boy thing. He knew he just wanted to impress but he couldn’t.

He quickly swept his fringe to the side and slipped on a white sweater with some khakis. One last look he grabbed his phone and wallet and left the flat.

“You look nice, you do realize that Liam is mine right?” Zayn said with a bit of possessiveness in his voice. Louis closed the door, Zayn handing him keys to lock it.

“Babe chill, I’m not interested in Liam. I prefer someone who can..take care of me rather than needing to be cared for themselves. Question: He bottoms right?” Louis asked teasingly as Zayn escorted him down to their parking.

“Yeah. Alright I guess you need someone to take care of you, especially someone who can cook for shit unlike you” Zayn replied, chuckling at the memory of the small incident.

“It’s not my fault I set the toast on fire” Louis protested back as they settled into the car.

“Sure it wasn’t” Zayn said as he closed the drivers door and turned the engine on.

…

“You didn’t tell me there were going to be a curly haired boy with green eyes” Louis whispered with a bit of anger in his voice to Zayn as they entered Liam and Harry’s flat.

“I can tell you want to tap that just by the tone of your voice. So what’s stopping you?” Zayn whispered back.

“I have a vagina remember?” Louis reminded him, only to be responded with a shaking head and a chuckle.

“Who the fuck cares” Zayn whispered back and said hello to his boyfriend, kissing him lightly on the lips and wrapping his arms around him to hug.

“Hello I’m Louis” Louis shyly spoke as Liam pulled away from Zayn and shook his hand.

“Hi my name is Liam, nice to meet you! Zayn has talked about you so much” Liam said in a sweet voice.

Their greeting went short as a loud shout interrupted them.

“God fucking dammit Niall stop being so fucking good at this and let me win for once” a familiar voice spoke a loud followed with a laugh from another boy.

“S’not my fault you’re shit at this” And Irish accent yelled back as he cooled down his laughter.

“Can we play the hockey one now?” The voice questioned but there was no reply to it as Liam walked out of the room. A minute later he had brought two boys back into the room Zayn and Louis occupied in, the kitchen.

“Louis this is Niall and Harry“ Liam introduced a familiar blonde boy. Wasn’t he from the gay bar? His thoughts were cut off as Harry immediately recognized him.

“Mr.Twinklinson it’s nice to see you again” Harry said in a sarcastic voice, reaching out to shake Louis’ hand but instead placed a soft kiss on his his knuckles.

Louis was sure he was blushing but with a disapproving face.

“Hey you can’t just call my best friend a-“ Zayn began only to be stopped by Louis.

“Zayn cool it Mr.CheekyTightPants is only joking” Louis spoke, trying to keep Zayn out of trouble he didn’t seek.

“Well than, nice to meet you Louis I’m Niall a friend of Harry’s” Niall broke the awkward conversation as he shook Louis’ hand.

 

…

 

After greeting one another the boys had dinner. Liam had made pasta with caesar salad and some chicken. Louis decided to stay away from the pasta as he was still on the road to recovery. He ate very little, and Zayn gave him disapproving looks a few times. He even tried to offer him more but Louis denied wanting more. He had barely even two cups of salad with a bit of chicken breast.

When dinner finished, Louis was the last one done to put his dishes away.

Being the last one in the living room, Louis awkwardly stood there as he saw there was only the seat next to Harry left.

They were sitting playing a four way game of what looked like a hockey game.

He sat quietly next to Harry, feeling his intense gaze at him.

“Louis you’re finally done” Harry noted as the others stopped the game and watched as he stared back at the others.

“Um yeah.. I count the number of times I chew so it takes awhile” Louis lies quickly not wanting the others to know what was really going on. No one knew why he actually broke his back except for Zayn and his family.

“Why?” Niall said giving him a funny look which sent Louis into a panic mode.

“I-uh-um..It’s part of my diet for ballet” He quickly lies hoping no one would notice it. Zayn gave him a cold expression, knowing he lied and was very displeased at what Louis was doing.

“So does Zayn do it too?” Niall asked curiously.

“No, there were…um..two different diets you could choose from and I chose the other one” Zayn smoothly lies, still giving Louis a cold expression.

He was just tired. He was tired of lying for Louis. He loved the boy but they situation got out of hand. First his eating disorder, then the accident, and then his cutting began. He hated how much Louis beat himself up. He just wished he could save him. Or have someone save him. Cluelessly did he not know he was sitting right next to Louis himself.

…

 

When Louis stared at his watch he realized it was quite late and Zayn and him should have headed back ages ago. Niall had left about an hour back saying his girlfriend was getting restless and wanted to ‘cuddle with him’. He said that with a smirk and a blush on his face which made the boys laugh, knowing what he really meant. Louis on the other hand was getting so tired he almost fell asleep on Harry. Which he wanted to but he didn’t want to, and was getting frustrated with his feelings. He was very bewildered by his mixed emotions.

“Zayn it’s late, we should y’know go” Louis informs him. Zayn looks back at him then his boyfriend.

“Actually I wanted to stay…You can head back without me” Zayn said with an apologetic face.

“Oh..I um should I just grab a bus or something because you’re going to need your car” Louis asked as he got up grabbing his stuff.

“I can call a cab or you can just take the car. It’s fine if you want to Louis I don’t want you out at a time like this, it could be very dangerous outside” Zayn said in a protective tone.

“No, no it’s fine I’ll just get a cab mum” Louis said sarcastically. He was about to leave when Harry got off the couch and joined their conversation.

“I can drive you home” He offered, Zayn looked back at him with curios eyes mouth opened.

“Uhh yeah I’d rather have Harry take you home. At least if someone tries to hurt you Harry could beat the shit out of them” Zayn added smiling at both of them. Louis gave him an uneasy expression but Zayn just continued to smile, signalling him to go with Harry.

“Alright I guess” Louis finally gave in, shoving his phone and keys into his pocket. He waited a minute for Harry to grab his own things and as they began to head out the door, Zayn stopped them for a moment.

“Oh one more thing” Zayn smirked, and Louis knew. He knew Zayn was going to say this because he always does when a cute boy takes Louis home.

“No sex on the kitchen, living room, dining-“ Louis cut him off giving him a disgusted look.

“Zayn just shut up we’re not having sex” Louis blushed as he told Zayn.

“We’re not?” Harry whispered in Louis’ ear a moment afterwards. Louis chuckled and gave him a ‘No we’re not’ kind of a face.

“Just shut and please take me home” Louis said back as they left the flat. He smiled though at Harry’s comment. It was nice for someone like him to be whispering such naughty comments into Louis’ ear. Was this considered as flirting? Did Harry like him? He certainly showed some kind of interest right?

Confused, Louis followed Harry on and into a car.

Of course Harry opened the door for him and closed it. What a gentlemen.

…

During the car ride Harry noticed a few things that a regular 20 year old boy shouldn’t be doing. In fact no one should no matter the age.

Harry wasn’t positive what he saw. But when he stopped at a red light he noticed it. He noticed Louis’ white sweater hitched a bit up his right wrists. They were quite dainty. But there were scars on them. And they didn’t look of the natural kind. Scar after scar. Each one was a perfect straight line that laid under another one. And there was a few new ones.

Louis cut himself.

Before Harry’s thoughts developed any further the light turned green, as Louis caught him staring causing him to shift uncomfortably in his seat and adjusting his sleeve so the cuts covered.

 

…

Once they arrived at Louis’ place, Harry pulled up the curve and parked.

“Thanks for the ride Harry” Louis smiled weakly at him, making Harry feel warm and fuzzy inside with a few butterflies flapping their wings in his stomach.

“You’re welcome, have a lovely night” Harry started the engine once more but Louis spoke again.

Wait..um..Do you want to maybe come in for tea? Maybe you could stay over or something. I’m pretty sure Zayn and Liam are going to be taking a while…y’know doing each other I just thought you might not want to go back your flat to such…um..explicit sounds and possibly scenes” Louis rambled, playing with his sleeves. He had never asked a boy over. He was really scared. He knew what he was doing was dangerous. He was playing it dangerous.

“Oh um..I don’t know wouldn’t it be weird or something?” Harry said.

“No, it would be fine. We could watch a movie or something until we fall sleep” Louis offered. He was actually feeling desperate now.

“Ok sounds great except I didn’t pack a toothbrush or any change of clothes” Harry replied.

“I’ve got some clothes that might fit you. And I have some spare toothbrushes that are new” Louis said.

“Alright then” Harry agreed, as he got out of the car.

…

They end up having peppermint tea, watching a movie from Netflix called The Lucky One. It’s a love movie. And yes Louis does cry. It was only like one tear. Or two. But Harry gave him a tissue, and let him cuddle. This isn’t a date. Right? They’ve only known each other for like couple hours. Plus the times they’ve bumped into each other.

Louis is pretty sure once the movie was over him and Harry fell asleep on the couch.

…

“What did I say about no sex in the living room you little impatient shits” Zayn said, startling both boys. It was probably around 7 or 8 in the morning and here was Zayn standing above the boys with an unpleasant face.

When Louis heard his best friend’s voice booming through his ear drums he woke up immediately. But not in his bed, with his pyjamas in. He woke up in his sweater and khakis in the arms of a curly haired boy staring down at him.

“Oi we didn’t have sex you butt nugget” Louis groaned in a groggily morning voice.

“If anything you were the one who had sex…like probably 8 or 10 times” Harry said as he sat upwards. Untangling himself from Louis, Harry stood up and stared at the time.

“Shit, I have to go” He said as he got off.

“Wait at least stay for breakfast” Louis yelled before Harry could move any further and leave. He got off the couch and advanced towards him.

“Louis I really want to but I can’t. I’ll miss practice and we have Sochi in four months I really can’t sorry” Harry said disappointed. Louis was great last night. And he smelled really nice when they were cuddling.

“Oh alright” Louis said in a sad tone, looking down at the floor.

“How about I’ll see afterwards huh? And I can bring Liam and Niall so we can play that video game you liked yeah?” Harry asked, trying his best not to make Louis sad. He was sad enough. The boy needed someone to help him and if no one was going to try and at least occupy him then Harry would. He would try to make Louis happy. He hated seeing others hurt. No one deserves it, especially a beautiful and special boy like Louis.

“Yeah sounds good, um what time?” He asked as he helped Harry gather his stuff.

“5? 6?”

“Alright I’ll see you then bye” Louis waved his hand, smiling lightly.

“Thanks for last night bye”

…

Louis went to the studio again. Lying to Zayn that he was out to the mall.

He needed an escape. To get away from the reality. He couldn’t do it often though. He loved this fantasy. Ballet felt like a fantasy to him. The way he got lost in the music, when he danced it was his way of communicating. His way of telling a story. And he loved every moment of it. Every dance would be a new story for Louis. Most of them were romantic some were fantasies. He loved his Peter Pan dance. He felt most connected to it.

He moved from a chassé to a changement. Changing his foot, he jumped then did a plié as he switched.

“Mr.Tomlinson what do you think you are doing?” A familiar voice asked as he entered the room. It was one of the choreographers for the company. He was one of the best and not to mention the youngest. Pretty cute Louis might add for a 28 year old guy.

“I uh..Just going over the choreo for my class…” Louis lied lightly. He blushed knowing the instructor had caught him. Mikey. That was his name.

“Sure you were. Most instructors just play around with 6 or 7 year olds but you Mr.Tomlinson teach them the changement. A bit too much for them don’t you think?” He teased him, smiling at the younger boy. In some ways Mikey did look like Harry. They definitely had the same hair. Same body build as well. Not to mention both being cheeky and charming.

“Up for a little bit Swan Lake or maybe Peter Pan?” Mikey asked as he proceeded to adjust his pointe shoes.

“Um..actually I’m working on something new. I need a partner for it. Some lifts and things like that if you want to help” Louis suggested seeing as Mikey was already ready.

“Yeah I can lift you” Mikey replied as he grabbed Louis’ waist.

“Not yet, I’m going to do a chassé then a grand jete, catch me when I’m in mid air” Louis instructed, Mikey nodding his head.

Louis walked to the back of the room, as Mikey pressed play for the music to turn on.

He did a 16 second count before he began.

In a gallop like motion Louis advance towards Mikey, extending his legs to perform the leap and mid-air split as Mikey grabbed him by the waist. He put him down and stared at Louis with curiosity.

“Why are you acting out as the girl?” He inquired, watching Louis as he caught his breath.

“Did you know in Shakespeare’s plays the women were actually men. So Juliet was actually a guy and he kissed Romeo who was another guy” louis stated, as he sat down, opening his legs to stretch more.

“Is that an indication for me to kiss you?” Mikey asked, a smirk appearing on his face as he sat next to Louis to stretch along with him.

“No, just a fun fact. Hey what time is it?” Louis wondered as he extended his body forward, bending so he was doing the side splits with his torso touching the ground.

“4ish. Wow you’re quite flexible. I couldn’t even do that when I was your age” Mikey remarked as his jaw laid low, checking Louis’ ass out quickly as he was wearing tights.

“Shit, I have to go” Louis said as he realized he was to meet Harry and the others at around 5. Getting off the ground, he dressed in a split second and grabbed his stuff. He needed to get a shower from the ice rink arena.

“Wait don’t I at least get a kiss or a hug?” Mikey said before left the room. Louis turned back and gave Mikey a small kiss on the cheek, leaving him to it.

…

When Louis arrived at the arena, he didn’t expect to see 15 buff tall guys in the shower and another 30 changing in the locker rooms. Was this Harry’s hockey practice? Shit what if Harry was here?

Louis hung his stuff up as he continued to worry about his Harry problem. He changed out of his tights and other clothes and wrapped a towel around himself.

What if Harry saw him? And then he told Zayn? Zayn would beat the shit out of Louis if he knew that Louis was still dancing.

“Louis?” A British accent rang through him, butterflies bursting into his stomach with the rush of adrenaline and heart pumping louder than a heavy metal concert.

Déjà vu ran inside his mind as the curly haired boy stood there, nude under the shower. Louis could feel hot slick between his thighs, and a flush of red on his cheeks.

He never noticed this before but Harry was really big. Shit had he just thought that?

“Louis what are you doing here?” Harry said as he walked towards him and pulled him into a hug which Louis did not react to.

“Harry get off of me” Louis warned, feeling very awkward.

“Louis what are you doing here? I thought I was meeting you at 5” Harry spoke as he tightened the hug to annoy Louis.

“Harry the only thing that is keeping us away from hugging nude with your ding-a-lang pressed up against mine is this towel so I suggest you stop. Besides I think your friends are talking about us” Louis said in his usual annoyed tone. He watched as a couple of guys gathered, pointing at them and laughing.

Louis was used to this. He wasn’t sure though if they were making fun of them. They didn’t really seem like it.

“Yo Styles who’s your new boyfriend? His tushie look great in those pink tights” One of the boys yelled at Harry, making Louis turn red.

“Shut up Price, he’s not my boyfriend and his tushie isn’t for a straight guy to check out” Harry half-shouted back as he led Louis into one of the private showers.

“So what are you doing here Louis? Pink tights huh? You were dancing weren’t you?” Harry asked him as he cornered Louis into the stall, closing the door behind him and locking it.

“Yeah Styles, getting some in the shower yeah buddy” Niall hollered and hooted but Harry ignored them.

“Ok you caught me. But can you blame me? You can’t stop doing something you love Harry” Louis tried to really make eye contact with Harry.

“Louis, what about these” He asked as he grabbed his tiny wrists and pulled them away from the towel, dropping to the ground. Louis panicked and immediately bent down to grab it, hoping Harry hadn’t seen his lower part. Hoping he hadn’t seen his cunt.

To his luck Harry had his attention on something more important.

Louis bent down, his perky bum practically sticking out for Harry to cherish. But Harry didn’t take advantage. He looked away, respecting Louis as a friend.

Louis grabbed his towel, wrapping it around his waist, tucking the corner into the wrapped part to hold the towel resting on his hips.

When Louis finished, Harry gently reached out for his wrists. But Louis flinched away.

“Louis just let me talk for a moment alright?” Harry said with pleading eyes, as he once more grabbed his wrists softly and looked down at the scars.

“I really don’t want to Harry can we just drop this?” Louis asked, his voice begging.

“I just want you to know I am here for whatever you are going through alright? If you ever need to talk I am here to listen. If you want to go anywhere or do anything you can just ask. But please try for your family, for…Zayn, for me to not do this alright?” Harry sweetly said.

“Ok thanks, but I’m fine” Louis said, the sadness washing over him.

“No you’re not, but you’re welcome” Harry said as he dropped Louis’ wrists. Next thing Louis knew was that Harry left him alone to be. And that was that. Louis stood there in astonishment.

…

When everyone else was done changing, Louis finished his shower and walked back to the changing room.

“Hey Louis wanna ride back? Harry’s driving” Niall said as he spotted Louis grabbing his clothes to go occupy a vacant stall.

“Oh um.. Yeah sounds good” He said as he closed the door to his stall. He pulled his thong out, putting it on first, then his jeans. And a orange sweater.

…

“Can you guys like not tell Zayn or anyone else for the matter of fact that I was y’know dancing? Because I’m really not suppose to for another 2 months” Louis asked of both boys when they were in the car. They all agreed not to saying anything as long as he promised he wasn’t doing anything risky that could possibly injure himself once again. He obviously promised, he didn’t want to be paralyzed.

…

“Well I baked some cookies with Liam while you guys were out” Zayn said as he pulled a fresh batch out of the oven.

“There isn't any cum in these right? Please tell me you guys didn’t have sex in the kitchen and even if you did please tell me you washed everything especially your hands god knows where those have been you nasty shits” Louis speaks, face scrunched in disgust at the thought of his best friend on the floor with Liam under him, fucking him into oblivion.

“Louis relax we haven't done it since last night” Zayn replies, head shaking at Louis’ idiotic comments.

“They were made with tons of happiness” Liam said clapping his hands together.

“You mean gayness?” Niall asked as he took a bite of the oatmeal raisin cookies they had made.

“No I meant happiness” Liam retorts back, as he grabs one of the cookies himself.

Louis and Harry both grab two for themselves and head down to the living room to begin FIFA even though Harry really hates it. He was only playing because Louis wanted to.

Harry was just dying to ask Louis out. He wanted to. But he couldn’t. Louis seemed as if he only liked him as a friend. Always denying what they could have. This was only day 3 of their new and wonderful friendship.

…

Harry’s coach dismissed everyone in a angry voice that scared Louis enough to make him wet. And not that kind of wet. Like pee his pants kind of wet.

He had just finished dancing and left the studio to go check up on Harry, maybe drop in and watch him.

He was a bit late as he saw the others were skating off the rink.

“Harry” Louis waved, catching his attention almost immediately. Harry pushed his skates against the ice and sled down the rink to meet Louis.

“Hey what are you doing here?” Harry said, hair wet and sweating under his helmet. He slipped it off while Louis glanced at him. His nose was red, so were his lips. They looked plump and perfect to wreck.

“Oh I just thought to drop in see how you’re doing” Louis’ mouth curled into a smile seeing as how adorable he looked. He had his jersey on with his last name printed on the back.

“You want to come skate with me for a bit?” Harry offered raising his hand for Louis to take.

“I um don’t have skates” He confessed.

“I can get you a pair what size are you?” Harry requested, taking off his gloves and putting his stick to the side.

“Wait no..I..can’t skate” Louis divulged.

Harry stood on the spot and stared at him with a blank expression.

“Alright then I can teach you” Harry promised.

…

(By Aki-Anyway)

 

 

“Slowly Louis, its just like walking or rollerblading if you rollerblade” Harry held Louis’ hand as he helped him across the ice. Louis had to get a pair of girl skates since they didn’t have it in the size for men.

Harry mentioned something about how they were easier but not for Louis they weren’t. Every five seconds the toe pick would stop him. They continued to move forward with Harry skating backwards to keep his hands enlaced with Louis’ to prevent him from falling or injuring himself.

“I don’t do anything on wheels. Now I’m considering blades as another” Louis said as he stumbled with struggle. Harry chuckled at his comments as he caught him.

“Fuck how do you do this everyday? Like how did you even learn?’’Louis came to a halt, catching his breath.

“I’m not sure. I was very young when I learned” Harry told him letting his eyes speak for him. He wanted to kiss Louis. That’s what he hoped his eyes spoke aloud. Loud enough for Louis to understand and just kiss him. But they spoke two entirely different languages when both boys spoke with their eyes even when they wanted the same thing.

Louis decided to begin skating after a pregnant pause.

“So how was practice?” He asked to break the ice of the silence.

“Good, how was yours?” Harry replied as he once again held Louis’ small hands in his giant ones.

“Good” Louis stared down at Harry’s hands. Big. Very Big. In contrast to his own. They were perfect for fingering-. Louis shook his head, blinking fast to avoid the thought of what Harry’s hands could be useful for.

“Louis how are you doing?” Harry led them down the rink, asking questions from Louis to keep him distracted.

“Good I mean skating isn’t that easy but y’know” Louis answered but had mistaken the question for skating when Harry meant to direct it to his self harm.

“No I mean, you haven't been hurting yourself lately right?” Harry’s voice was soft and kind. A small part of Louis told him Harry really did care.

In that moment with both boys distracted, Louis tripped on the toe pick falling forward onto Harry. Harry didn’t predict the fall like he usually would, causing him to lose balance as Louis fell on top of him.

They landed with a thump on the floor.

“Harry oh my god I’m so sorry are you ok?” Louis said as he laid on top of Harry, groaning a bit. Harry looked up at him.

“Yeah I got my gear on, the real question is are you ok? You didn’t hurt yourself right?” Harry placed his hands on Louis’ arms which rested on his chest. But Louis didn’t respond immediately. He was staring deeply and lost. He was lost in those vert eyes. Lost in the forest of green, and he just couldn’t get out.

Harry was mesmerizing.

But Louis wasn’t the only lost in the others eyes. Harry was lost too. In the blue oceans of those cerulean coloured orbs. He was sailing through them, lost at sea.

They both leaned in, inches away from lips touching. But they didn’t.

“Oi ya love birds hurry the fuck up I’m hungry” Niall yelled interrupting them. The boys both pulled away murmuring a string of sorry’s to each other.

“Um..we should probably get up..and change” Harry said as he helped Louis up.

“Yeah” Louis agreed.

…

Zayn had invited the boys and Niall’s girlfriend to their flat a month later.

“Truth or dare Harry” Zayn asked Harry, with a devilish look on his face.

“Dare” Harry said in unison.

“Alright I dare you take Louis into the other room and finger him” Zayn looked at Louis, as he panicked while Harry was acting all chill. Harry was actually freaking out, and really happy. “Ok come on Louis, I have to stick my fingers up your buttonhole” Harry joked, but Louis didn’t get up.

“Zayn I um… I don’t want to be a part of this dare can you please someone else more eligible?” Louis said nervously in a panic, Zayn could see the beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

Harry frowned at Louis’ comment. He didn’t understand why he didn’t let anyone close. He had been watching him close and carefully the last few weeks. He would barely allow the touch of anyone who wasn’t Zayn or a family member. He let Harry sometimes but not like he would with Zayn. He was the only one who Louis called ‘babe’ and kissed on the cheek. Harry hated how they couldn’t be that. He knew Louis had some sort of secret but he let Louis keep it for himself.

“Ok fine, I dare you to kiss Niall’s girlfriend, Ally over here on the lips” Zayn wiggled his eyebrows as Niall began to complain. Harry snapped out of his thoughts as Zayn told him the new dare.

“Piece of cake” Harry said as he leaned down to Ally. He placed his lips on her’s and began to move against them. They moved in sync for a few minutes before Harry dominated the kiss and sled his tongue into her mouth.

Niall must’ve been very jealous because the next thing he knew Niall was peeling her off of him.“Alright I think that’s enough of Harry’s magical gay lips” Niall informed them as he grabbed his girlfriend and placed her on his lap, with a scrunched up tough face.

But Niall wasn’t the only one who was jealous. Louis was sitting right next to Niall with daggers in his eyes. That should’ve been him. It should’ve been him getting that kiss.

“Harry you’re a pretty good kisser, even better than Niall” She commented getting Niall fuming, which made her wiggle in his grip giggling as he tickled her. “Are you sure about that?” Niall questioned her, cocking an eyebrow.

“No but you do love me” she giggled.

“Alright Harry your turn” Zayn spoke.

“Ok Liam truth or dare” Harry says as he sits down next to Zayn.

“Truth” Liam picks, nervously playing with his hands.

“Who tops and bottoms when you and Zayn have sex?” Harry smirked. Niall laughed at his question.

“I bottom” Liam murmured but loud enough for them to hear.

“Liam your turn” Zayn said, covering his boyfriends embarrassment.

“Ok, um Louis truth or dare” Liam said, but Zayn flinch a little because if Louis was smart he would choose dare. If anything truth would either make him reveal something he didn’t want anyone to know or lie. He hated how Louis had to lie, but he had no other choice.

“Dare” Louis said, making Zayn release his breath as he was holding it the whole time Louis was deciding.

“I dare you to kiss Niall”

Louis stared at him for a second to check how serious he was. He seemed to be dead serious. He nodded his head and moved towards Niall.

“Shouldn’t you choose something different Liam? I mean I just kissed a straight person as well and now you’re making Louis do it?” Harry said with an unpleasant face, he looked angry as if he was ready to knock someone out. This was the look he had on his face when he played hockey and someone had stolen the puck from him.

“No it’s my choice what Louis does” Liam retorted back. He knew Harry had a bad temper and he knew when Harry was jealous. But Louis wasn’t his. He had to learn that.

Louis leaned down, cupping Niall’s face as he placed a sweet kiss to his lips and pulled away. Liam watched as Harry kept his eyes on Louis the entire game. The entire night. He could see fondness in them and he liked this side of Harry. It was the side he usually never got to see.

 

…

 

“When Louis kissed you, did you…Like it? Like how was it?” Harry asked Niall a week after the truth and dare game they had played. He had seen Louis a couple times the during the week but not as much as he used to.

It was just after practice, Niall and Harry decided they would just hang out.

“It was nice I guess, his lips were really nice. Soft and warm but you know I’m not really into boys so… You should ask him out. You look at him like you really want him. You guys have been hanging out like every day for the past three months. He really likes you too” Niall suggested as Harry drove them around town. He had a tight grip on the wheel, looking out with an expressionless face.

“I want to. But he doesn’t seem to like me in the same way” Harry sadly said as he stopped at a red light.

“Are you kidding me he looks at you like he wants to rip your clothes off and fuck you” Niall looked out the window, watching the December weather pouring rain down.

“No he doesn’t” Harry said as he took a left turned and his phone rang “Can you grab that for me?” He said knowing it is illegal to be talking on your phone while driving.

“Hello? Louis, Louis calm down. Ok I will put Harry on the phone for you” Niall said, with a worried face.

“Harry pull over Louis really needs you” Niall’s face looked drowned and frankly scared. Harry pulled over on the curve and grabbed his phone and left the car.

“Hello?”

“Harry” Louis said, voice completely broken and he could tell Louis was sobbing from it.

“Hey, hey what’s wrong” Harry spoke. Whoever had made Louis cry like this was going to pay.

“Harry I need you to pick me up from some place please” Louis pleaded, sniffling.

“Ok Louis I need you to tell me if you’re ok”

“I’m ok can you please pick me up from that bar we went to?”

“Ok Louis, please calm down for me babe I’ll be there as soon as I can” Harry spoke softly into the phone. He didn’t even take a second to think he called Louis ‘babe’ for the first time. All he thought was that someone must’ve hurt Louis, and he was in need of his help.

…

 

Louis had just finished his routine with Mikey, sweating and panting they had stopped for a break.

“Do you want to go get a drink?” Mikey suggested to Louis.

“I guess yeah let me get dressed and we can head out” Louis chose to go. Mikey didn’t seem harmful, he was such a sweetheart to him.

…

It happened really fast. And here’s how it happened.

Louis and Mikey went to a gay bar together.

Mikey had a few drinks while Louis ordered his usual Ginger ale.

Apparently a drunk Mikey wanted more from Louis than a ballet partner because the next thing Louis knew, Mikey had dragged him into the alley.

He kissed Louis, which Louis went to protest against but did not.

He grabbed Louis’ crotch and realized there was nothing there.

He yelled at Louis and Louis told him the truth hoping he understood.

But he didn’t didn’t understand and he just hit Louis, and left Louis in the alley.

That’s how Louis ended up calling Harry.

…

 When Harry and Niall arrived at the club, Harry left Niall to change seats to take over the drivers seat while he went in to retrieve Louis.

Louis stood by the front door. But he looked terrible.

There were bruises on his face, a busted bloody lip and a black eye.

“Louis!” Harry half-yelled in worry as he ran to him.

The first thing he did was hug the younger boy, pulling him into his presence and wrapped his arms around him. He took his thumbs and wiped the tears off Louis’ face, pressing a firm kiss on his forehead and whispering sweet nothings into his ear.

Louis continued to sob even harder, feeling bad that he was wetting Harry’s t-shirt. “Hey, I got you, it’s ok everything is going to be fine” Harry assured him. He picked the boy’s legs up and wrapped them around himself and placed his hands under Louis’ thighs to keep him balanced in the position as Louis snaked his arms around Harry’s neck, making it safer for him. Harry carried him to the car, allowing him to bury his face into the crook of his neck and cry.

“Louis are you ok?” Niall questioned as Harry opened the door to the back passengers seats. He placed Louis on the seat, Louis covering his face promptly as Harry buckled his seat belt. He closed the door and jogged to the other side. He opened the door once more, yelling “Drive to Louis’ place” at Niall and shutting the door behind him. He seated himself next to Louis and buckled himself up, holding Louis’ hand the entire way.

“Wait no, Zayn is home can-can we go somewhere else” Louis whispered to Harry, and Harry nodded his head in agreement.

“Niall drive up to my place” He ordered, wiping a few more of Louis’ tears away.

…

Niall decided it was best to leave them alone so he left for home himself. Harry on the other hand grabbed a fluffy blanket for Louis and wrapped it around him and steamed up some tea for the boy.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Harry inquired as he sat beside Louis, giving him some space. But Louis didn’t like the space so he moved closer and placed his head on Harry’s shoulder.

“I went to the club with” He sniffled and then hiccuped which made the hearts in Harry’s eyes grow wider as the butterflies went crazier.

“With this guy named Mikey. He, he is this 28 year old male dancer who was helping me with this dance routine I was making” Louis paused a second to catch his breath as he was breathing heavily.

“We decide to go out and have a drink or something together to celebrate what we had achieved but he kissed me and-and he, he found out my, my secret and he, he beat me and left me in the alley and so I picked myself up and called Zayn but he didn’t pick up so I called you” He stammered, and hiccuped again.

“Louis, what secret?” Harry asked but Louis didn’t want to tell him.

“I, I don’t want to tell you…or anyone for a matter of fact. I’m really sorry Harry it’s just I’ve been hurt so many times I don’t want to risk it again. I-I’m r-r-really sorry.” he sobbed even harder and Harry held onto him tighter. He kissed his forehead murmuring “It’s ok” and “You’re ok” to him over and over again.

“Why don’t I get our tea and you can choose something on Netflix for us to watch?” Harry suggested and Louis thought it was a really good idea so he agreed to it.

They end up watching Sixteen Candles by John Hughes.

…

Louis’ birthday was coming up in a week, and Zayn decided to throw a party for him. A surprise party that is. He would even get some male strippers for him.

He told the others about his party ideas. Every liked everything about it except Harry. He said he didn’t like the male strippers idea. So Zayn said as long as he got some birthday sex then he would call off the male strippers. He was indicating that for especially Harry. Because he wanted Harry to finally make some kind of a move on him.

…

It was Louis’ birthday. He had gone to the studio all day long to practice with the company. His six months had finished and he was so happy he could officially dance.

By the time it was around 8 o’clock Louis arrived home. It was quiet at first. But then Louis went to turn on the lights and-

“SURPRISE” A crowd yelled, jumping out from their hiding spots startling Louis in joy. People like his friends from work and the company were there. If he had to guess there were about 30 or maybe more people in the room, coming to hug him and congratulate him. But he only kept his eyes on one person as Zayn put his playlist on.

He kept his eyes on the curly haired boy who wore a navy blue dress shirt with white hearts on them, and his tight pants and boots and was striding towards him.

“Hi” He said with two drinks in his hand, taking a sip of one of them.

“Here you go birthday boy. I’m guessing this will be your first ever drink” Harry said as he passed it to Louis. Shyly Louis nodded his head and thanked him for the drink.

…

By the time it was midnight Louis was still prancing around being his perky self. He thinks he had way too many drinks. Maybe four or six. Who knows but he was very drunk. He slotted himself between one of Zayn’s hot cousins and this guy who he couldn’t remember the name of, grinding against Zayn’s cousin and being grinded against by the guy.

Harry watched him from afar. And he didn’t like it one bit. He took a sip of his seventh drink and sat down glancing at Louis from time to time hoping he would come to Harry and say something to him or even kiss him. He had been yearning for a kiss from him for a long time.

…

When Louis was done being grinded against he went to move on to someone else. That’s when he noticed Harry who was sitting on the couch. Harry who he wanted to go out with. Harry who was great to him, better than Zayn even. Harry who didn’t ever push him to tell him anything. Harry who was probably really drunk, and he looked really cute when he was drunk.

Harry thought he was dreaming when Louis was walking towards him.

Harry thought he was dreaming when Louis sat on his lap, and started to play with his collar.

But it was reality. And he decided to accept it because Louis Twinklinson was sitting on his lap, slighting grinding against him.

“Heeeeyyyyyy” Louis slurred giggling as he placed his hands on Harry’s shoulders, roaming them around.

“Hiiii” Harry said back.

“Hazzzz youuu are ssooooo fackiiiinngg hoooottt” Louis said, leaning closer to Harry. His face was inches away from his, breath fanning over his. He rutted his crotch against Harry’s, making him semi-hard. Harry placed his hands on Louis’ hips.

“Louisss what are you doiinnnggg??” Harry asked but was cut off as Louis grabbed his collar and pulled him into a kiss. Harry’s eyes widened as the younger boy pressed his lips against his. He was scared but he calmed into the kiss as he felt the softness and sweetness of Louis’ lips. They’re lips slotted together perfectly as if they were made for one another. His hands travelled up Louis’ shirt, one hand tweaking his nipple as they moved their lips against one another opening and closing their mouths. Harry felt a small moan come from the back of Louis’ mouth, vibrating against his. He sled his tongue across Louis’ bottom lip to test the waters but Louis immediately opened it for Harry to slid his tongue. Harry twisted Louis’ nipple, earning a whimper from him.

Pulling away for breath, Louis wore the same body temptations as Harry with dilated pupils filled with lust and a wet slick between his thighs. He needed it badly. He wanted Harry from the moment he had laid his eyes on him.

“My room.now” Louis demanded as Harry picked him up.

…

The door was slammed shut as Louis locked it.

He began to unbutton Harry’s shirt as he stood beside his bed. The last button done, Louis dropped on his knees. Harry sported a nice tent as Louis licked his lips. He unzipped his jeans and pulled both his briefs and his jeans down to his ankles, cock springing out as it slapped against Harry’s toned stomach. Louis took a moment to admire the gorgeous boy standing in front of him. The moon light peaked through the blinds, illuminating Harry’s reflection. He was absolutely breathtaking. He had many tattoos splattered all other his body. Two sparrows under his collarbone. Another one on his hip bone, and a several more on his arm.

And his dick. One word could only describe that. Huge.

“God you’re gorgeous” Louis complimented, taking his cock into his hand. He spread the precome that was oozing from Harry’s tip around his length, kissing the top. He licked a fat stripe against the side, then taking whatever he could into his mouth. Enveloping his lips around the older boy’s cock, he bobbed his head up and down. Using his hand he pumped what he couldn’t take into his mouth. Louis hallowed his cheeks to create an illusion of a very tight, warm, and wet heat around his cock. “Oh god Lou” Harry moaned, hands placed in Louis’ brown hair. He clutched on his hair, slightly pulling it. Louis licked around the warm cock, pre come sliding down his throat.

Harry pulling Louis’ hair, bucking his hips making Louis gag. He saw a tear slip down Louis’ cheek and he promptly stopped, hand cupping Louis’ face. “Lou I’m so sorry areee you okkkk?” He asked, worry in his eyes. Louis nodded his head about to go back to giving Harry the blow job he deserved but Harry stopped him. He pulled Louis up and placed a soft kiss to his lips.

“Take these off” Harry seductively whispered in Louis’ ear sending him shivers down his spine. Playing with the rim of Louis’ pants, Harry placed a chaste kiss to Louis’ neck, then travelled down to his collar bones grazing on one of them. He sucked and grazed on it with his teeth until he drew blood to the surface.

Louis knew this situation was way to familiar. Here it was. He was going to get hurt. He was throwing his heart in for it. Just to have something with Harry.

He unzipped his pants, breath hitched at the back of his throat. He pulled them down slightly but noticed Harry occupied himself as he looked for the lube and condom.

“Bottom drawer” Louis spoke to let him know. Harry found the bottle and package within seconds. When Harry turned to go back to Louis, he noticed Louis was bent over the edge of the bed with his ass up in the air, wiggling. Harry smiled at him as he realized Louis was wearing a red lace garment with hearts on it. “Is that a th-thong?” Harry asked, breath shaky.

“Y-yeah do you n-n-not like it?” Louis asked, afraid of Harry’s next reply.

“No fuck it’s, it’s so fucking hot” Harry answered as he placed his hands on Louis’ arse, kneading the skin. Louis felt warm and fuzzy in all the right places when Harry said that. He at least was ok with him wearing girl panties.

Harry kissed both of Louis’ arse cheeks was he coats his fingers with the lube. Sliding the thin layer of fabric to the side he slides his index finger in. He didn't catch the fact that Louis didn't have balls under his hole, or the fact that he had a vagina. His drunk mind made him focus on Louis’ hole and nothing else. When Harry sled his finger in, he felt an unusually tight heat, he didn't even considered the fact that Louis was indeed a virgin. He continued to insert his finger in and out, enjoying the whimpers and small whines that escaped Louis’ mouth as he wiggled his bum more, clutching the white sheets of his bed hard enough for his knuckles to turn white. Harry slipped in his second finger in, pumping them both in and scissoring them.

“You think you can take it if I add a third finger?” Harry asked Louis and Louis responded with a high pitched yes and another mewl after it.

Harry pulled his fingers out and added the third finger in. He inserted them in and out a few times before he curled them, hitting Louis’ prostate and causing Louis to cry his name aloud, burying his head deeper into the sheets.

“Lou, you think you’re ready?” Harry politely questioned to see if Louis thought he was prepped enough. “Yeah, Hazzz hurry up. I need you to fill me up Haz please I need you inside of me” Louis said in a broken sob. Harry slipped the condom on, coating a bit of lube on there. He positioned himself at Louis’ entrance and slowly pushed in. Waiting for Louis to adjust, Louis wiggled his hips around before giving Harry the green lights to go.

Harry thrusted in slowly, going deeper every time. He grasped on Louis’ thighs, placing soft kisses on his neck and shoulder to help sooth him. “Relax Lou” Harry purred in Louis’ ear, kissing the younger boy’sbefore he curled them, hitting Louis’ prostate and causing Louis to cry his name aloud, burying his head deeper into the sheets.

“Lou, you think you’re ready?” Harry politely questioned to see if Louis thought he was prepped enough. “Yeah, Hazzz hurry up. I need you to fill me up Haz please I need you inside of me” Louis said in a broken sob. Harry slipped the condom on, coating a bit of lube on there. He positioned himself at Louis’ entrance and slowly pushed in. Waiting for Louis to adjust, Louis wiggled his hips around before giving Harry the green lights to go.

Harry thrusted in slowly, going deeper every time. He grasped on Louis’ thighs, placing soft kisses on his neck and shoulder to help sooth him. “Relax Lou” Harry purred in Louis’ ear, kissing the younger boy’s cheeks. “F-faster Hazzz” Louis slurred, whining at Harry who picked up the speed with his thrusting. Harry pulled all the way out, his tip snuggled at Louis’ pretty pink rim, ramming his length right back into the tight wet heat of Louis’ hole. The innocent mewls and whimpers eliciting from Louis’ mouth soon turned into provocative moans. Harry angled his hips, and drove straight into Louis’ bundle of nerves. “Ah Haz” Louis wailed. He felt the pleasure tug at the pit of his stomach as he was feeling a release soon to come. Beads of sweat was formed on both of the boys’ foreheads. Harry continued to thrusting faster and harder, balls hitting the back of Louis’ thighs making slapping noises.

“Oh Lou you feel so good” Harry let out a guttural moan as he felt Louis beginning to clench around him. He was close.

“Harry I-I’m close please” Louis begged needing Harry to take him over the edge. And that’s exactly what Harry did. He slammed straight at Louis’ prostate making both himself and Louis come. Panting he pulled out of Louis, collapsing beside him. “How are you feeling Louis?” He asked, hauling him closer. Louis looked back at him, seeing stars twinkle around in his vision. “Best thing that ever happened to me” He said truthfully and Harry smiled because he felt the same way.

“Let’s sleep” Harry says as he picks Louis up and places him properly on his bed. He lays next to him, pulling the duvet over and holding Louis close to him.


	2. part 2:  After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is done chasing after Louis because he has finally caught him.
> 
> But being in a relationship with Louis comes with secrets Harry never imagined someone like Louis would have. 
> 
> He's never been good with situations like these
> 
> Will he run away from it? Break up with him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically 21k of crap I swear to god. Actually its super fluffy and smutty in the end. Warning there is mentions of hetersexual sex but I tried to make it vague because really.. I write gay smut not hetero smut. I'd like to thank @offdreaming for proof reading most of of. The last 3k is not proof read because I lost my shat and I just had to post this because I lost my mind. This fic has made me so antsy and I've been so eager just to finish it. I'm sorry it's a bit late but I was on vacation for like three weeks. Another warning, Louis' grandmother is weird (crazy) but I made her character like that so she's not like that in real life. Um.... I know nothing about ballet so sorry. Ummmm... sorry for any mistakes...Yeah i hope you like it.

The sun peaked through the white blinds, its abrupt shine waking Louis up. His eyes fluttered open with a loud pounding in his head as a reminder of what had happened the night before. Panicking almost immediately he sprung up from the bed and sat straight up, eyes widened with fear.

Harry knew. He knew his secret.

And to his dismay there was a empty spot next to him that once was occupied by a tall lanky curly haired boy.

He had thought Harry would at least stay and talk about it but he had not. Another friend- Was he still considered a friend after what they had done? Friends with benefits? No it had been a one night stand nothing else.

Soon enough the smell of bacon and eggs filled Louis’ nose, he sniffed in disbelief. Who was making that? His next door neighbour? As if to answer his questions about the smell and the green eyed boy, a shadow appeared at the doorway followed by a giant figure that belonged to non other than the infamous Harry Styles.

“Morning Lou, I made breakfast” He said in a deep voice as he past the doorway and sat next to Louis who scooted away from him.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked in a worried tone as he grabbed his hand gently.

“What-what do you remember from last night?” Louis asks in a shaky voice, Harry feeling the younger boy tremble in his touch.

“Um.. Do you not remember?” Harry frowned, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Yeah, yeah I do I just want to know what you remember” Louis spoke, still a vibrating tremor going throughout his entire body. He use to be like this all the time when he was diagnosed with anorexia. He use to shake and wear tons of clothes to make him warm because he was always so god damn cold.

“Um..We did it…and it was better than amazing” Harry lightly grinned at him. He leaned in to test the waters and see how far he could go with Louis. Placing a small kiss on his lips he pulled back waiting for a reaction.

Louis closed his eyes for a moment and let their lips touch, but only for a few seconds that he cherished. He loved the feeling when Harry’s lips met his. It was sweet and set off his butterflies swarming.

“A-anything else?” Louis stuttered, feeling lost but opening his eyes once more.

“Was there something important I should have remembered? If you’re ashamed of the knickers thing I swear to god I found it hot” Harry began to ramble a bit, as Louis’ face tinted the colour of red.

“N-no there was nothing important. I just felt a bit um…” Louis started but he didn’t know how to end it without giving away the fact that he was a hermaphrodite. “Insecure… with my body and well it was kind of my first time” He added with a bit of truth. He was practically a slut for Harry the night before. Desperate, when really it was just a kiss he wanted but the alcohol really messed with his mind. And it messed with Harry’s too because there was no way he could’ve forgotten that Louis had a pussy.

“I-I’m so sorry Louis I..I feel bad now. I basically took your virginity away without even asking whether it was ok or not and I didn’t even make it special. Like your first time is suppose to be with someone you love not some drunk idiot. It’s suppose to be special and-“ Harry had a really bad habit of rambling so Louis leaned in and kissed him. Taken back by the surprise, Harry kissed back. While Louis’ hands cupped Harry’s face. Harry himself, grabbed Louis’ waist to pull him close.

But their kiss came to a halt as a blonde girl stood at the door giving a disapproving look and coughing to attract the the two kissing boys’ attention.

Louis pulled away from Harry and promptly felt himself freeze.

“L-lottie? What are you doing here?” He asked in shock as he saw his younger sister staring instantly at them. He thought she was staying in Doncaster with their mother and his younger sisters for his birthday.

“Oh yeah I forgot to tell you, your sisters are all here. They knocked on the door this morning and woke me up. Um.. Felicite, Daisy, and Phoebe are here as well. I made you and them breakfast” Harry spoke to explain for Lottie who’s eyes were lingering on Harry.

“Are you two together? Like what the hell are you? This morning Harry told me he’s your friend and you’re now making out” Is the first thing Lottie says. He could tell Lottie had a little crush on him. Like who wouldn’t? Harry’s a lovable and very attractive person.

“Well Hi to you too Lottie…..”

“So are you like friends with benefits or something? Or like in a secret relationship in which you are denying?” She continued as her curiosity made the boys both uncomfortable because all these questions she had asked they had not not a single answer to.

“He’s um.. my special friend” Louis settled down, giving Harry an apologetic look. He didn’t want to deny their special relationship nor did he know what they were.

“Alright well I’ll leave you two, Happy birthday Boobear” Lottie said, adding the nickname their mother had for him. She left the room without another word, leaving the two boys once more alone.

“Boobear huh? Well Boobear I’m going to go put a Disney movie on for your younger sisters, while you dress and come and eat some breakfast with me. Sound good?” He suggested, lightly smiling at Louis who nodded.

…

Harry gave Louis some aspirin and his breakfast once Louis had finished dressing.

Harry had made a breakfast with way too many calories and Louis just couldn’t eat it all. There were two eggs on his plate, two slices of white bread, three bacon strips, an orange cut into four pieces, some berries, hash browns with spices and sour cream onions on top.

Louis couldn't possible eat all of it. If anything maybe a quarter but he didn't want to disappoint Harry or make him sad that he couldn’t eat it all. Harry had worked so hard to make such a beautiful breakfast.

He began to pick at his food and eat a couple slices of his potatoes. But Harry was practically half-way done with his own dish which consisted of the same things.

“I can’t do this” He murmured to himself as he settled his utensils down. “Louis what’s wrong? Are you not hungry?” Harry asked, face stuffed with food.

He hated it. He hated how he couldn’t be like him, it had been nearly a year since he begun to recover. But he still hadn’t improved as much as he could've months ago. He was eating the same amount, counting every calorie he would eat ; even mints which had like 5 calories that you could easily burn off in less than a minute.

“He can’t eat all of that” Felicite informed Harry as she entered the kitchen, placing her plate into the sink.

“What do you mean he can’t eat all of it? He needs the food for energy and such. I thought I put a small portion for Lou” He said, a worried look written over his face. He placed his hand on Louis’ to reassure him of something that he had no clue of.

“Louis you might as well tell your boyfriend instead of waiting for him to find out himself” Felicite told him in a concerned voice. But she didn’t just mean the eating disorder. She meant what he was as well. But Louis simply couldn’t. Not all of it. He can’t just drop a bomb like that on Harry.

“Louis what is she talking about?” Harry’s face had softened now and Louis knew he hated it when Harry worried about him and looked at him like that. Even though he liked it he didn’t want Harry to always be so worried about him. Did he truly care about Louis?

“I um.. When I broke my back it wasn't because I was unready or unable to perform. I broke it from malnutrition. My body had a lack of nutrients, especially calcium because I had a eating disorder…um I had anorex-“ Louis stopped as he watched Harry’s face drop in a wave of sadness washing over him. “anorexia” He finished in a small voice.

“Louis I’m so sorry I didn’t know, um eat whatever you can. I um..I can just throw away the stuff you didn’t finish” He offered, Louis grinning at him wryly because the boy actually suggested to just throw away his hard work for him.

“No don’t” He (Louis) shook his head, seeing as Harry had took what he had told him well. “It’s ok Harry, no need to apologize, you didn’t know” he felt small once again. Harry squeezed his hand, brightly smiling back at Louis to make him feel big again. “Um..Are you still hungry?” Louis wondered, looking down at the plate of food, he saw Harry had already finished his plate. Nodding his head and replying with a “yeah” Louis grabbed his fork and stabbed his bacon. He raised his hand, and placed the tip of the pig meat to Harry’s mouth and he open his mouth wide and allowed Louis to feed him.

…

Harry didn’t ask questions for the rest of the evening. He cuddled with Louis on the couch while his younger sisters watched a movie.

Questions meaning about Louis’ eating. Why Louis has so many panic attacks. Why Louis doesn't get help. Why Louis cuts himself. Why Louis, beautiful and amazing Louis just hurts himself, and beats himself down. Harry has to witness Louis do this to himself and it burns him to watch. Louis almost never opens up to Harry, but he doesn’t need for Louis to open up to him. It takes one look in his eyes to see if he is hiding the sadness behind that smile. When Harry sees those blue waves washing in the shores of sadness he holds Louis tighter to keep him from breaking. He wished he could fix it all. He held the fragile boy the entire day as if he was the most precious and most expensive diamond. A rare specimen with such delicacy and rare features. But he was. Louis was rare, delicate, beautiful, and the most heartbreaking part about it was that he was sad. For who knows why, maybe there is no answer to why he was sad because he just is but Harry will keep trying to figure it out. He wished he could just get the guts to ask for the chance to make him happy.

“Lou?” He mumbles into the younger boy’s ear, tightening his grip around him a bit.

“Yeah Haz?” Louis says, slipping his nickname out for Harry which makes him feel bright on the inside.

“When do you want to go on that date?” Harry whispers back, watching as Louis’ facial expression turns flushed, while his mouth curves into a slight smile.

“Um…I…um.. I don’t think that’s a good idea Haz” Louis says, shocked that this beautiful boy was still asking him on that date. The date he had promised him months ago. Louis knew he shouldn’t do this, but his heart and his brain wanted different things.

“Why is that?” He murmurs back, one hand drawing circles on Louis’ thigh which makes Louis distracted.

“Um…I… I just think I’d rather have you as a friend than a boyfriend because in that case if something happens in the relationship and we break up I don’t want to lose you as a friend” Louis quietly mumbles back, but clear enough for Harry to hear.

“And what if we don’t?” He intensely stares at the fringed haired boy, who returns the stare back. What Harry had just said wasn’t something you could just walk away from. ‘What if we don’t?’ the words replayed in Louis’ mind. He never considered to say ‘what if’ in a positive way. If he used the words ‘what if’ they usually were attached with negativity. But Harry used it in a positive way, and really why would he say it if he didn’t mean it? Louis had never met someone so persistent.  
“What does your heart tell you? Forget about what you think, but what does your heart say?” Harry asks with solemnity, rubbing Louis’ side. Louis looks at him, making full eye contact as he is captured by Harry’s beauty. A boy. This boy. This boy was asking for a chance to go out with him. Maybe even a chance to have his heart. He is always so terrified of getting hurt but if anything him and Harry have practically been best friends these past few months. And one thing he has learned is that he should have no fear when it comes to Harry. No fear.

“It says…That I should do it” Louis answers dropping his eyes down at his lap.

“Do you think it’s right? Do you want to?” Harry enlaces their fingers together, smiling down at the blue eyed boy.

“Yes” Louis replies, smiling widely himself, eyes filled with fondness as he leans to steal a kiss. A kiss that surprises both boys.

Louis was done living in fear of getting hurt. This was a chance for being with the right guy after being with the wrong ones.

“Hey no kissing in front of the younglings” Fizzy warns, glaring at the older boys who chuckle at her.

…

 

Their first date goes great. Harry takes Louis to the park for a walk and then to a nice restaurant. As promised.

…

Louis’ first kiss of the new year (on New Years) happens to be Harry. It’s great just like Harry is. It’s deep and meaningful and filled with passion.

…

Louis was so busy with the company, some nights he would forget he had to leave the studio to go home. Most nights he would stay until nearly midnight working on his routines. They had one more week until his performance then afterwards he has to leave with Harry to go to Russia.

It would be their 1 month anniversary on the 25th of January and a week after they would be in Russia for the Olympics. Harry had asked if Louis would come with him, and obviously Louis blushed and said yes.

It was another night of Louis practicing but with a tired Harry sitting in the front of the room.

“Babe check your twitter I posted something” Harry said as he watched Louis practice his routine over and over again. He had gotten the leading role of the performance and Harry couldn't be more proud of him. Louis who never gave up. Even when he was shut down he got himself back to the top again.

Sighing, Louis stopped the music giving a glare at Harry. “What’s the point of me practicing if you’re going to distract me every five minutes?” Louis scowls at his boyfriend as he reaches for his phone and logs onto his twitter. Looking through his feed he notices a video of him dancing and immediately whines.

“Hazzzzzz you can’t just post something like this! Especially if I’m wearing spandex shorts!” Louis says, 50% mad and 50% blushing and embarrassed at what Harry has done.

“Over 230,000 people have favourited this and 180,000 have retweeted this; Harry Styles do you understand I am wearing spandex shorts!?” Louis speaks as his jaw is hung, pissed at the fact that he was doomed. Now creeps were going to stalk him.

“So what?” Harry responds as he gets off the ground and walks to Louis, wrapping his arms around the tinier boy’s waist. “Your ass looks amazing in them, I hope everyone knows how lucky I am to land someone like you with such a nice ass” complimenting him, he reaches down for Louis’ perky bum and gives it squeeze. A small whimper leaves Louis’ mouth as he feels Harry lean down and kisses his neck.

This was a bit of a problem.

He knew Harry when he was horny.

Especially right now, he could feel his hard bulge pressing against him. His pupils dilated with a thin layer of green filled with lust. And the kisses that were placed upon his skin left him tingling in place. Harry’s big hands spread and knead Louis’ bum. One hand escaped down into the spandex to feel the smooth skin of Louis’ bare cheek. His hand roams until he finds the outline of Louis’ thong. “Fuck Lou, you always wearing girl undies?” Harry asks his boyfriend as he pulls away. Louis nods his head in shame. He still hasn’t told Harry why he never strips naked in front of him. He’s scared of the rejection. Not to mention Harry is a hockey player who beats the shit out of people for money. If he gets angry it gets ugly and scary and Louis really doesn't want to be lying on the cold ground with a bloody nose, several broken ribs, and a broken heart sobbing. He has been there before. Even if 99% of him tells him Harry wouldn’t lay a finger on him but there’s still that 1% that tells him he will.

He needs to relax though. It’s only been their first month, as long as he gives Harry all he can he won’t question why Louis won’t stripe nude in front of him. He’s not really concerned about the sex. If he gets Harry drunk enough he won’t remember the most important fact about Louis. That he is a hermaphrodite.

“Babe no need to be ashamed of it. I told you I love them” Harry says squeezing Louis’ arse one last time before releasing him.

There is a knock on the door, interrupting their conversation once Harry rests his hands on Louis’s waist. Looking towards the intruder, Harry feels a slight shiver go down Louis’ spine.

“Mikey?” Louis says in shock. He thought he had gotten fired months ago. But apparently not.

Louis’ face looked drained, he wasn’t breathing as his breath had hitched at the back of his throat. “Hi Lou can I talk to you for a sec? Alone?” He asked, but Harry could sense this Mikey fellow was no friend of Louis’. Definitely not someone he wanted to see. For some reason his name sounded familiar but Harry couldn’t put his finger on it. “O..okay” Louis said as he slipped out of Harry's arm and placed a small kiss on Harry’s cheek.

He left Harry to stand in confusion as he kept on trying to figure out who this Mikey guy was.

..

“What do you want Mikey?” Louis asked as he shut the door behind him, praying to god Harry wouldn’t hear any of the conversation.

“I wasn’t done with you that night at the club” He said, his voice going rough. Louis could smell the alcohol as he spat every word out. He was about to turn on his heel when he was harshly grabbed by his waist and pressed against the wall. Mikey’s face leaned down, biting down on Louis’ neck who let out a silent yelp. Mikey’s hand promptly covered his mouth as he began to bite him in an un-delightful way.

“Did you tell him what a cockslut you are Louis? Begging for my cock all the time. Did you tell him that unlike most men you have a pussy so tight it’s begging to be fucked right out of its misery? I bet you want my big cock to fuck you right in that pussy of yours, make you cum so hard, make you so sore that you can’t walk for weeks” He filthily whispers in Louis’ ear, making him whimper, tears rushing down his cheeks. Louis’ body was filled with pure hatred and disgust. “Harry!” He yells but it comes out muffled, but he doesn't stop yelling and trying to kick Mikey away.

He feels a stinging feeling against his cheek as Mikey’s hand comes swiping across his face to slap loudly.

“If you don’t shut the fuck up I will fuck you so hard until you bleed your fucking brains out you twat” He says into the lobe of Louis’ ear.

…

 

Mikey. That’s all Harry was thinking about until it hit him.

Wasn’t he the Mikey that had hurt Louis months ago? The guy that had found out Louis’ secret and hurt him?

At that moment his thoughts were interrupted as he heard a loud smack and a muffled cry. He sprinted to the door, and swung it open.

The most horrifying scene he had yet to see.

Louis was pushed against the wall with Mikey groping him in areas Louis didn’t didn’t even let Harry touch. He was sobbing, trying to kick Mikey. Mikey had his lips forced against Louis’ and one hand clutching onto Louis’ hands to keep him from clawing.  
“Get the fuck off of him” Harry screamed in anger, rage filling inside of him with daggers in his eyes. Louis slumped down the wall laid helpless, with hope knowing Harry was going to help him.

He pulled Mikey right off and pushed him into another wall. He fisted his hand and threw a punch into his jaw, “Don’t you ever touch Louis ever again” another punch repeating but against his eye, “I swear to god if you hurt him or anyone else again like you did to my Louis I swear to god I will find you and rip your balls off” and the next one up his nose making it bleed. He held the helpless 28 year old who threw one weak of punch, but was not able to continue as Harry kneed him in the crotch and flung another fist into his stomach.

“Harry, Harry please stop” Louis cried as he fell to his knees and tried to pull Harry off Mikey. Harry kneed him once more before Louis was successful. “That’ll teach you not to touch Louis again” He spats out. He grabs and pulls Louis into a hug, helping him to pull his shorts on.

A loud siren is heard, occupied by cop cars. Apparently Louis had called the police while Harry was beating the crap out of Mike.

‘It’s ok’ ‘You’re ok baby’ ‘He’s not going to hurt you again I promise’ Harry spoke softly a string of comforting words to his boyfriend as he held him tighter, and closer than ever before.

The police men came in, immediately noticing Mikey laying lifeless on the floor. They grabbed him, pulling him outside to take away. An officer came to get a brief description of the crime. Harry explained what had happened and that he had only beat the poor boy up in defence. The officer herself said that she had, had a life experience like this and she was going to press charges against Mikey. She offered taking Louis and him to the hospital but they both declined the offer.

…

“Babe you can’t go home by yourself, let me come with you” Harry offered when Louis was ready to go home and he had drove him there. He had just gotten the door for Louis, letting him hop off.

“N-no Harry I’ll be fine” He sniffled as he got out of the car.

“No Louis you are not, and I am not letting you go home alone knowing you’re going to hurt yourself” Harry said, the anger still clearly running through him. He can’t help feeling protective over the boy. He would’ve done this even if they were friends. He didn’t want another scar constructed under the old ones.

“I’m not going to hurt myself Ha-“ Louis begins but Harry cuts him off “That’s bullshit and you know it. Just let me stay with you tonight ok Lou? Tonight you….you…were assaulted and if anything you're lucky the police officers didn't force you into the hospital, where a doctor would’ve noticed your cuts and put you in a mental hospital for it” Harry expands on his explanation, not even afraid of the possibility that maybe what he had said would have Louis breaking up with him. He had always wanted what was best for Louis whether it effected their relationship or not.

“I” Louis starts, tears reforming in his eyes but he never finishes the sentence. He continues and begins to sob. Worried he had caused the boy’s sobbing, Harry gives him his space by stepping a bit back but Louis had different ideas as he grabs Harry’s shirt and pulls him in. Harry’s arms wrap around Louis, cradling him. Louis mumbles a few words about nothing being his fault and that soothes Harry so he returns the same feeling.

“Let’s get you home” Harry murmurs back and places his hands right under Louis’ thighs to help him snake his legs around him so Harry could carry him upstairs.

…

 

Harry gets Louis some tea and wraps him in a warm blanket. He helps Louis into bed and cuddles him all night, slipping small comforting kisses here and there. But when morning comes he notices something he hadn’t ever before. With all the shifting Louis did all night, his shirt hiked up as well as his basketball shorts. It was something Harry had seen on his arms months ago and now he was seeing them on his thighs and hips.

He tried so hard not to, but he choked the sobs that were to come. He couldn't do this. It was a lot; it was too much for him to handle. He needed some help to cope with this. He didn’t want to back out of this relationship because it was difficult. He had fallen for this boy and he needed to help him be better for it to become easier but Louis barely shared anything with him unless he was convinced he should. First his cutting, then his anorexia, and some secret in which he wouldn't tell Harry of. Harry pushed himself off the bed, kissing Louis on the forehead while tucking the blanket that covered Louis in.

He exited the room and wrote a small letter letting Louis know he went out for a walk. He needed some fresh air to think.

…

He thinks maybe half an hour passes by before he has finished his walk around the park and he gets a phone call.

“Hello?” He answers, not looking at the ID number.

“Ha-Harry? Hazza?” He hears a small voice that belongs to his younger boyfriend.

“Hi baby, how are you doing?” He asks, walking around the corner as he spots a bakery. He should buy some breakfast for both of them he thinks as he stops at the bakery.

“I-I thought you left me” He whimpered, hearing the broken voice. Harry’s heart pitter patters at the sound, dropping to his stomach because he feels awful now.

“Oh my god Louis no! No of course not. I just went out to get some breakfast for us” He says in a worried tone, leaving the walking part out so he doesn’t freak Louis out.

“Ok..ok..I’m sorry I guess I panicked for no reason” Louis replies, voice still sounding poor.

“Hey Louis, when I get back we’re having a serious talk ok?” He says as he orders some tea, coffee for himself and some pastries.

“A-about what? Are you breaking up with me?” Louis rushes into a conversation Harry doesn’t want to get into. He knows he’s not planning on breaking up with Louis for sure now. He can do this. He can help Louis even if it will take awhile.

“Baby of course not. Don’t worry about it too much. I’ll be there in about ten minutes ok? Call in sick for ballet alright? I’ll take you to the studio later on” Harry finishes and Louis says an ok before hanging up.

…

When Harry arrives at Louis’ flat, he bought Louis sunflowers to make up for the panic attack he had, had in the morning. Kissing him on the cheek he goes inside and sets up the food he has brought. He places the pastries on the table, and then hands Louis his tea as he gulps his coffee down.

“So…what do you want to have a serious conversation about?” Louis uneasily asks, fidgeting with his figures and his food.

“Louis is it only your arms that you harm or have you harmed yourself in other parts of your body? Be honest with me Louis please” Harry begs because he knows it’s not a easy question for Louis to answer.

“Just my arms” Louis responds and tries to shrug it off to show that he is not uncomfortable even though he is because he knows that if Harry finds out about the other parts he will not be able to cope with it in the way that Louis would like.

“I said be honest Louis, that’s not honest” Harry says a bit more stern and Louis begins to fume.

“I am being fucking honest why can’t you just accept the answer you fucking got” He snaps and it’s probably the first time he has ever snapped at Harry. He hates himself the minute he does, regretting what he has said. Without another word Harry pulls the fabric of his basket ball shorts up and Louis promptly reacts back and slaps his hand away but it’s too late. Harry sees it. He sees it all. Cut after cut, designs he had created upon himself in his darkest moments, one of his biggest secrets laying out right in front of Harry for him to see. He doesn’t say anything so neither does Louis. He lets his finger tips brush upon the old scars, a few new ones right above his knee. Louis winces at that. He was scared of what Harry was going to say.

Harry’s hand left Louis’ thighs as he hitched the hem of Louis’ shirt. Louis didn’t even try to stop him. It was over. Harry now knew the two out of the three secrets that Louis had kept hidden. But he wasn’t going to find out the third one; the secret of him being a hermaphrodite because he was going to leave Louis.

“Oh Lou” Harry speaks as he breaks the silence, eye’s concentrated on Louis. “C’mere Lou” Harry offers and Louis lunges forward to be wrapped into his warming presence.

“Please stop, please. Louis please. I know it’s hard but you have to stop. Please, if you ever feel as if you need to do this to yourself let me know, tell me alright?” Harry asked of him, one hand wrapped around the petit body while another cradled his head, stroking his hair as Harry placed a soft kiss to Louis’ forehead.

“O-okay” Louis stammers out.

…

Harry being Harry, his prince charming self he laid Louis on the bed that night after both of their practices and kissed every scar, over and over until Louis slept.

…

It’s Harry’s 24 birthday and Louis throws him a small party with all his friends. He makes out with him shamelessly and makes sure he doesn't drink too much so the the horny side of him won’t show up and grind mercilessly against Harry’s crotch. He knows Harry is the kind of person who tends to have a great deal amount of sex constantly, he knows because he’s seen the articles media has written about his previous relationships. There was even a list of one night stands on some site Louis had seen but he’s not sure if the website was trustful.

In the end of the night Harry and him share ice-cream cake while cuddling in bed. It’s nice and they fall asleep in each other’s arms.

…

The crowd applauded as the performance had finished. It was the ballet performance Louis had the lead in and Harry got front row tickets to see his beautiful boyfriend dance in it. He watched Louis with fondness and proudness in his eyes the entire dance. It wasn’t the first ballet recital Harry had seen with Louis in it. His first one was maybe two years ago when he first had set his eyes on Louis.

When the audience began getting up so did Harry. He rushed backstage to find Louis talking to a tall bulky guy with brown hair and light eyes. He was touching Louis’ arm and laughing with him about something.

Harry frowned, the feeling of jealousy rushing through his body. He advanced towards them and encased Louis with his arms.

“Hi baby” He said as he kissed Louis’ cheek, making him blush.

“Hi Haz” Louis said, still giggly and smiles. Which Harry loved, really he truly did. But watching some handsome guy be the reason to it made Harry feel resentment of him.

“Your performance was amazing” Harry remarks as he presses an amiable kiss to his lips.

“Thank you, um.. Harry this is Josh” Louis introduces and he turns to greet the guy.

Josh ends up to be very nice, and he is apparently one of Louis’ closest friends at the company.

…

They’ve just finished rushing through the airport to get to their airplane.Their plane was waiting for him and Louis to get to on.

They make it just in time and get seated in first class to get to Russia.

“Hey Louis chill, everything is going to be okay” Harry reassures as he sees how horrified Louis is of planes. He holds the fringed haired boy’s hand and grips tightly to make sure that he knows he’s here for him. He takes their intertwined hands and kisses Louis’ knuckles.

…

It’s their 2nd game today. They’re first game they were against Norway. They won 3 to 1. It’s their 2nd game today and they’re against Austria and so far it looks as if they’re winning. Its 3 to 0 and the game is barely even over. All the goals obviously made by Harry. He has seen him play a couple games when he had finished his class and came over to watch. He knew he was good but he didn’t know he was so good that he would score three times against the Austrian team. Maybe the Austrians just sucked. Either that or team Canada was amazing. He would’ve been also routing for team England but there wasn’t one.

“Go Harry!” Louis yelled from the bleachers. He was wearing Harry’s jersey with his number and last name imprinted on it, a scarf wrapped around his neck. He stood on his tiptoes, screaming his boyfriend’s name.

The 4th and 5th goal are soon made and Harry gets a penalty for nearly beating someone up. He’s put into this box for about few minutes or so. Louis doesn’t know much about hockey but he tries to cheer for Harry as much as he can. He knows being in Russia he cannot show his affection for Harry. If anything they would be beat to death for it. He’s heard many terrifying stories about it. The Russians are not very open-minded about the lgbtq’s. So when Harry is sitting in the box, he looks back at Louis and they exchange each other with silly faces. At some point the camera is cued their way and Louis just knows he and Harry are being recorded on national television but he doesn’t care because it’s not like they’re making out or something. Not that he would be embarrassed but he liked to share his relationship between him and harry and not him and Harry and the entire world.

 

….

Once the game ends, team Canada wins by 6 to 0. So when the game is over, Louis practically sprints into the changing room to meet up with Harry. It takes awhile to get through security and such. But he eventually makes it. He runs into there in excitement and finds Harry sitting on the bench with some ice pressed to his abdomen in his black briefs. Louis frowns at that and sits next to him.

“Hey baby,” Harry lightly smiles at the blue eyed ballerina as he is seated next to him.

“Hi, great game” Louis congratulates him, enlacing his hands with Harry’s unoccupied one. They’re making intense eye contact until Louis breaks it and wonders on other things upon Harry. He takes in Harry’s reflection and notices things he doesn’t notice usually. Like the bruises that surround his built body. And the beads of sweat, his soaked wet hair. His rosy nose, and plump red lips. He wants to kiss them and wreck them apart. He doesn't want to he needs to. So he proceeds to do as his want and need. He captures Harry’s lips, slotting his into Harry’s and moves slowly against his lips. Taking a risk like never before, Louis bites down on Harry’s bottom lip and slightly pulls it back, a small moan escaping from Harry’s lip. Louis swung his legs over and sat onto Harry’s lap. He cups Harry’s face with his hands, his tongue sliding into Harry’s whimpering mouth. But they had to be quite because Harry’s teammate were still in the changing rooms. Louis grinded his bum against Harry’s crotch earning another moan from Harry. His hand traveled down Harry’s chest and right before he was about to tweak Harry’s sensitive nipples he heard him make an unpleasant voice. Pulling away he notices his hand had brushed against one of Harry’s bruises. “Sorry” He mumbles giving Harry an apologetic look.

“It’s ok, as long as you kiss them afterwards” Harry cheekily says, talking about his bruises. Louis plays along and smiles at him and nods his head in response. He starts with the one right at his his jaw, trailing down his body and kissing every red blotch he could find. There were a few on his thighs, so he lowered himself off of Harry’s lap, spreading his legs a bit apart and kissing the dark spots.

“Ooo Styles is getting head” Someone yells from the other side of the changing room, making Louis pull away immediately. His face is flushed with a hint of embarrassment. “Bugger off Perry” Harry shouts back as he helps Louis up and sits him down.

“I’m going to take a shower ‘kay? Do you want to join?” Harry asks as he grabs a towel and Louis shakes his head furiously.

“Hey do you want to go swimming tonight?” Harry wonders before leaving the boy alone.

“Yeah sounds great” Louis says a bit hesitant. He knows it won’t reveal anything but he’s still scared it would somehow.

…

 

Louis hides the fact that he has a cunt very well. He buys himself pads online, big one to make it look as if he has a bulge enough to be considered as a dick. But he does need stuff like these. Tampons and pads, stuff like that. He needs them for when he has his time of the month. Which is usually a week of hell for him because he still passes out when he sees the blood dripping down his thighs. He hates how he has to have this. A fucking cunt with its very own period blood every fucking month. He has never accepted himself and he’s not sure he ever will. When he was younger his doctor and made him have a ultrasound to check whether or not he has the female reproductive system. Unfortunate for him he did. Which led his doctor and mum to explain to him how reproduction works. Most awkward conversation he has ever had with his mum, not to mention he was only 15 when he was being taught this. His mother explained to him if he wants babies in the future, he has to have a man put his dingly dang in his hole. It was less explicit than that but she also mentioned if he ever wants to do it just for fun he has to swallow some birth control pills and have his partner wear a condom. Although this was the time Louis still thought he liked girls so he told his mum he would never be with a man but a women. His mother still worried about people accepting Louis for who he was and so Louis simply decided not to bother with relationships to keep his secret to himself and no one else.

…

Its almost midnight and Harry’s trying to convince Louis that it’s ok to be rebellious and swim around the pool past the hour it’s opened.

“Louis come on, please” Harry begs, his eyes shinning luminously, pouting his lips and cheeks popping out. When Harry really wants something he always pulls this cute puppy dog face for it to happen. And here he was right now, trying to use it against Louis who sat on the ledge of the pool with his legs dangly in the warm water of the pool with Harry standing in between them.

“Fine” He gives in, surrendering as Harry holds his hands out for Louis to take. Graciously Louis does and hops into the pool, body tensing as the cold water hit his upper skin. His nipples directly going hard, catching Harry’s attention to them. He places his hand on the small of Louis’ back and pulls him closer in. His vacant hand roams Louis’ torso and travels up to his nipples. He plays around with Louis’ sensitive bud, making small whines of protest come from Louis’ lips. “Hazzz stoppp” His voice was raised in a sharp and high note. He moaned under the curly haired boy’s touch, gripping on his biceps tightly with his dainty fingers. Harry removes his hand from Louis’ back and cups his face, bringing his lips down to Louis’. He slips his lips into Louis’, slotting them in between. Capturing the sweet taste of Louis’ vanilla mint lip balm he licks his way into the younger boy’s mouth. Slipping his tongue into Louis’s mouth, Harry plays around with Louis’ tongue slightly moaning. The vibration of his moan causes Louis to stop and pull away. His face is flushed red and he avoids eye-contact with Harry.

After a few moments of silence Harry breaks the ice by saying “Do you want to go back to our room?” But Louis only answers him back with a nod.

…

It was Sunday and their team was against Finland. Louis went to the game to watch as usual, jumping up and down on the bleachers roaring Harry’s name with a smile plastered on his face. He let himself drool over a few of the other players as well but Harry was the only one he kept his eyes on. He watched Harry pound into several of the older and more buff looking men yet he kept his balance while the unfortunate Finns did not and fell onto the ice. He wondered how strong Harry really is and if he could hold him against the wall and fuck him hard. His cheeks tint the colour of red when that thought comes to him. He usually keeps his thoughts content.

The second period Louis saw Harry was talking to one of the players from Finland and after they’re lips stopped moving he could see anger flash through Harry. What on Earth could make his Harry possibly that angry he had thought to himself. The lads had warned him that Harry was the scariest out of all of them when he was furious. But Louis had never seen a light flame in the green emerald eye’s of the curly haired boy. Only today he hadn’t seen just a flicker but a forest roaring in fire. He wasn’t sure of what Harry was capable of. He knew he had beat Mikey till he was bloodied and weak but he knew it was in defence. And possibly payback. Louis was in shock when all of it happened so he’s not sure of what he remembers besides the Harry beating Mikey part.

He watches the game play on a little longer, tiger claws being thrown at each other with cat hisses but that was only the beginning.

It wasn’t until the last quarter when the man from team Finland decides he has had enough of Harry. He chooses to dispose of Harry himself, he speeds his skating to the maximum with the puck nuzzled into the tip of his hockey stick. Harry bolts towards him and tries to steal the puck away only to have himself smashed against the glass supporting the rink. The sounds of the shattering and a screaming audience rings through Louis’ ears as he shouts a “No” the plastered smile disappears. The glass spills a million pieces and falls down with Harry.

Louis pushes the screeching crowd that surrounds him and escapes it into the home box. “Louis don’t” Niall screams after him but Louis is opening the door to the rink and slipping down the ice with his shoes towards his boyfriend. “Harry” He cried out. Liam skates towards Louis and helps him across the rink. Kneeling down onto the ground with all the members of both teams and the referees Louis places a hand on Harry’s cheek. “Harry” he sobs, tears streaming down his face. “Harry please” He yells in desperation but there was no response. Harry was unconscious.

He leaned down and gathered him into his presence, hands pressed down on his chest with his face buried deep.

He could hear the paramedics asking him to pull away but he would only scream for them to not touch him. Eventually Liam and Niall grabbed Louis’ tiny waist and pulled him off. The paramedics rushed and put him onto a gurney and allowed Louis to get onto the ambulance with him.

…

Beep.Beep.Beep

Harry’s monitor rang. It had been two days since the accident. Louis sat there in a nervous wreck, nails bitten and eyes rimmed with the colour of crimson swimming in the whites of his eyes. He looked outside the window for a few seconds as if it could possibly help him.

“Louis?” A groggily voice spoke out and Louis felt as if he was dreaming. He whipped around to see the forest green eyes opened. “Harry!” Louis squealed in joy as he jumped onto him, arms wrapping around. “Oh my god I completely lost my mind over you, you fucking idiot” He whispered into Harry’s ear, telling him of how sick worried he had been. Pressing a soft kiss onto the side of Louis’ cheek, Harry slightly pulled away to place another kiss on his forehead.

“I’m ok babe, no need to be concerned about me” Harry spoke to reassure him. He took his thump and rubbed circles onto Louis’ muscular thighs.

“So what…er happened?” He questions as Louis tucks his face into Harry’s shoulder. “You were angry or something and you and that guy from Finland were at each other’s necks and he just slammed into you and you collided with the glass and fell unconscious onto the floor” Louis explained.

“Oh, did coach say when I get to play?” Harry asks, Louis worried as to why he was only concerned about his games rather than his health and being.

“Um.. I think he said something about playing on Friday if you win you’re game on Wednesday” Louis offered, silently not wanting him to play.

“Oh wow so we won the last game” Harry acted surprised even though he knew they would win.

“Yeah” Louis mumbles as a thought springs upon him and he speaks it aloud “Why were you angry during the game against Finland? You know with that Finns guy and all?” He watched as Harry cringed at those words. Hesitant at first but decided he would tell Louis vaguely about it “He had said some disrespectful things about the team and um some other things” He responded but it was missing something. “What ‘other things’” Louis quoted, his curiosity taking the best of him. “Well…um disrespectful comments about you and your um… body parts” his embarrassment was clearly showing. “Body parts as in..?” Louis asked for him to elaborate. “He saw that post of you in your spandex shorts and talked about how after they win he will take you home and do inappropriate things with you” Shyly saying Harry looked down at Louis, one arm around him as they cuddled in the hospital bed. Louis smiled lightly and softly murmured an “Oh” before closing his eyes and embracing Harry’s warm presence.

…

 

Louis usually never complained about other’s complimenting him or making sexual comments about him. But the comments the Finns player had said about him didn’t flatter him much. He felt gooey and fuzzy when Harry had tried to defend him on the ice, but when he got hurt he was suddenly a wreck. He didn’t want Harry to be protective like this. He liked the idea of someone older and more built than him protecting him but he was scared Harry would hurt himself worse than this. They discussed it briefly about Harry trying to control his anger and getting into less fights with others.

After Harry was released from the hospital, they went out for a walk together in the village and got ice-cream together. Though they had to keep their hands off of each other in fear that they might get hurt or even worse go to jail. Harry found it the hardest because Louis looked especially cute with his red and white striped shirt and his grey beanie with his thick black framed glasses. Normally he would wear contacts but today he decided to wear his glasses.

 

…

It was Friday’s game and Louis was scared to his bones. He didn’t want Harry to play at all. Although after a few conversations from Harry and his coach they finally convince Louis that it is safe for Harry to play. The coach had said Harry was one of the best players he had seen in many years and he couldn’t be more proud of having him on their team.

It’s the last game and they’re against the Sweden. Whoever wins this game ends up taking gold home. He wants to do something special for him if he wins or loses. He deserves something nice after being in so much stress. He decides after the game he will take him back to their room and give him a nice back rub or maybe even a hand job if he thinks he’s ready for it. They haven’t really discussed the sexual part of the relationship. The most they have done is making out and grinding after the accident on Louis’ birthday. Louis needs to confront him soon about how he doesn’t want to have sex or have Harry touching him but he’ s terrified of how Harry might react to it. He doesn’t want him to ask too many questions but he needs to also tell him about him being a hermaphrodite. He needs to do it because if he falls in too deep and Harry finds out and leaves Louis would be heartbroken. Last time it ended terrible and he didn’t want this time to be the same. Zayn keeps telling him it wouldn't matter to Harry because he is a good guy and Lucas never was. Zayn continues to even make rude comments about Lucas even though Louis knows it’s true.

He watches intently as the game continues on. Harry hasn’t played yet but once in a while he whips his head around to glance at Louis who is doing the same. They smile at each other in fondness and exchange a few small messages.

When all the quarters are over and the scores are tied by 0-0 they run into over time. Louis keeps his eyes on Harry to observe his moves and such, he steals the puck within seconds and skates vigorously across the rink. A defence player from the Swedish team manages to take the puck from Harry but Harry doesn’t give up that easily as he chases him down. “Go Harry!” Louis yells, jumping up and down his glasses bouncing with him. He has a runny nose with plump dried lips. He continues to cheer Harry on. As he does so he sees Harry has soon gotten the puck and is driving himself towards the goal. He has several of the players behind him so he curves around the goal and tucks the puck into the goal. A familiar loud bell rings off to alert that a goal has been made and the Canadian team is proudly screaming and cheering. Harry’s teammates advance towards him and hoist him on top of their shoulders.

Louis is screaming on the bleachers in joy as he runs down the flight of stairs to make it down to Harry on the ice. He thinks he has spotted his best friend but doubts it as he makes his way down to the ceremony that is about to happen. He does spot the lovely bird Niall had been dating jumping into his arms. He continues to walk around to a rather crowded area that he supposes Harry is at. Pushing through the crowd of sweating 6’ foot tall built hockey player’s he spots his pot of sunshine talking to a few of his teammates. “Harry” He shouts to catch his attention but he fails. “Hazza” He shouts once more except with the nickname slipping out this time and Harry snaps his around to meet Louis’ eyes. He walks over to his sweating boyfriend and gives him a tight hug. “Hi baby” Harry says as he places his arms around him. He squeezes the smaller boy and places a kiss to his head. “Congratulations Haz” Louis speaks as they pull away. He hopes the Russian’s didn’t see anything.

“Um they’re having party later on tonight though it’s in London. The entire team is leaving for it. I was wondering if you wanted to go?” Harry questions as he leads him. Louis thinks about the things they could do at the party. The next morning they could even visit his parents and sisters. He hadn’t seen them in month and his parents since last year. Sure they have their skypes here and there but it’s not often. Maybe even visit his grandmother if they’re lucky. “Is there a chance we can go see my parents in the morning after?” He inquires as they come to a halt. “Sure although with a hangover I’m not sure I’ll be able to have that perfect boyfriend complexion” He chuckles as he places his hand on the small of Louis’ back. “They’ll love you don’t worry about it” Louis reassures. “Hey they’re handing the medals out in a few minutes and they want family members up on the bleachers will you stay there until it’s finished and I come and get you?” Harry ruffles Louis’ hair a bit as Louis replies with a “Yeah” and Harry leans down to press a soft kiss against his cheek.

…

The medal ceremony goes well. They hand out the gold medals and flowers. Once it’s done Harry skates off the rink and gets Louis and whispers a “Let’s go” in his ear.

…

Louis never gets to give Harry his back rub or his hand job. Instead once they arrive at their room they pack their clothes and such. Their flight leaves tonight and the entire team is taking the same flight. Harry mentioned something about possibly a private jet but Louis is not sure what he heard.

…

The flight there ends up being interesting as Harry’s friends and teammates make the most inappropriate jokes about him and Louis. By the time they arrive at the Heathrow airport, Louis walks out with his luggage, a tomato red face and Harry’s hand enlaced with his.

…

“Harry what should I wear?” Louis asks as he nervously fidgets with his hands.

“Nothing” Harry jokes, wiggling his eyebrows and Louis grabs a pillow to throw at his head.

“Harrrrrrryyyy” He whines “I’m dead serious”.

“Alright, um… How about that white t-shirt. These jeans, and this jean jacket with your glasses” Harry offers as he displays an outfit for Louis to wear while placing Louis’ glasses onto his nose. He knows how much Louis hates them but insists for him to wear it. “Thanks but I don’t think the glasses go very well with the outfit” He ignores the comments Harry makes about how cute he looks with his glasses on and disappears into the bathroom to change into his clothes.

Once he’s done he comes back out to show what his outfit looks like on his body to Harry only to be surprised by Liam and Zayn standing at the doorway of their hotel room. “Babes you look hot” Zayn greets him as he goes in to hug him. “Zayn! I thought your performance was suppose to be today” Louis states as he hugs his best friend back. “It was canceled three days ago so I hopped onto a plane and came to Russia” He confronts back as they pull apart. “Oh so it was you I saw at the ceremony” Louis thinks back and realizes the raven black quiff he had spotted in the crowd did belonged to Zayn. “Yeah it was me” He confirms and Liam comes to say ‘Hi’ to him. “You look hot Tomlinson” Liam compliments, making Louis feel fuzzy and warm. “Oi keep your eyes off of him he’s mine Payne” Harry warns as he tries to give a deathly glare at his teammate. “As if I would let him touch Lou” Zayn speaks up, shaking his finger in the air as he has picked a bit of sass from Louis over the years. The boys all laugh at the little joke and Harry excuses himself to go change. When he has left the room, Zayn gives a disapproving look at Louis. “You haven’t told him yet have you?” He whispers so Liam doesn't hear. “No why should I?” He asks back as he sits on the couch and slips his toms on. “Louis, I don’t know if you have forgotten what happened with Lucas but I will not go through with it again. Tell him now, if you wait too long you will end up falling six feet under for him and once you tell him he might not handle it as well. Harry is a great guy but you need to be honest with him. How much longer do you think it will take him to question as to why you never want to have sex with him or make love let alone trust him to see your body? Harry is one of those guys who’s used to constant sex and even if you don’t want to do it with him at least have the heart to tell him about your issue” Zayn explains to Louis so he understands the risks of what he is doing. Delaying will only make the problem worse and even though he’s right he is still doubtful of Harry and his relationship. He just wants to wait a few more months until he’s completely sure.

“Zayn does having a relationship at this age have to always be about sex?” Louis asks in disgust because he doesn’t really want to have sex right now. He wants to but he doesn't right now. He’s happy with Harry and he just wants to keep it like that.

“No but Harry might think differently about it. I’m not saying you need to do anything, some people are happy like that. It’s just that it’s really nice and helps have a healthy relationship for many” He states a fact that’s most likely only based on his relationship. Louis rolls his eyes at him.

Harry comes back into the room in a tight black t-shirt and jeans with boots. His hair is styled in a head scarf and he’s wearing a plaid blue and green on top of his shirt. “Ready to go?” He quirks his eyebrow questioningly as he grabs his phone and wallet. Louis rolls his jeans up a bit and replies with a “Yeah” intertwining their fingers together.

…

They don’t end up having too many drinks. Louis thinks he’s had maybe one or two while Harry’s had about three. He’s tipsy but not drunk and Louis thinks he’s fallen even harder for him because he’s being his quirky awkward self and smiles way too often. “Harry lets go dance” Louis pleads because he knows at of all things Harry likes to do dancing is not his strongest. He’s so bad at it he constantly trips over his own feet. “Nooo, I’m going to embarrass myself and you. You’re like the most flawless dancer and I’m the guy who ends up accidentally stomping on your ballerina feet” He slurs at first protesting against it. Louis becomes oblivious to his answer and drags him onto the dance floor. He forgets the fact that there is paparazzi there and other people such as Harry’s teammates who are dancing around with their wives and girlfriends and Zayn and Liam.

He shimmies his way through the crowd until the perfect song starts playing on the speakers. He knows Harry’s taste in music is indie rock but he likes his top 40’s and classical music so he grabs Harry’s hands and begins to swung them around a bit. The song ‘Pumpin blood’ by NONONO is playing and it’s one of his favourites. It was from the movie Endless love which Harry had taken him to see. Obviously Louis cried during the movie because it was a cute movie and Alex Pettyfer was so hot he has never felt himself have a non-existing boner.

Harry raised his hand for Louis to twirl around, making the younger boy giggle.

_“Cause it’s your heart, it’s alive, it’s pumpin’ blood”_

He twirled back into Harry’s embrace, idiotically smiling at him as he returns the same expression back. Harry leans down to place a chaste kiss to Louis’ lips.

Louis locks his arms around Harry’s neck as Harry places his hands on the small of Louis’ back. They sway their hips to the beat of the music until it changes. It one of those songs Harry has heard on the radio several times and it’s basically about twerking. He hates songs that explain the erotic entity of a body part. But apparently Louis has absolutely a different thought about them because the next thing Harry knows Louis is turning around and placing Harry’s hands on his waist. His bum snuggles right against Harry’s crotch as he grinds downwards onto it. Harry stifles a moan in his throat. He snaps his hips to the rhythm of the song, smothering Harry’s crotch. “F-fuck Lou” Harry groans into Louis’ ear who’s smirk widens because this is his doing. He’s making Harry feel this good. He kisses Louis’ neck down to where it meets his shoulder. A high pitched whimper elicits from Louis’ lips as Harry ruts back in response.

Neither of them noticed the pictures of them being taken. Neither of them realized the paparazzi was there. Neither of them thought that someone was watching them.

…

At the end of the song Louis had, had enough of the teasing. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey and Harry’s hand in the other hand. Dragging them out of the club, Louis got them a cab and swung his legs over Harry’s legs and placed himself on his lap. Opening the bottle of whiskey, he yelled to the cab driver to get them to their hotel and took a swing of the liquor. He takes about two gulps before throwing the bottle out the window. He glances at the blown out eyes with a thin layer of forest green. “What are you doing Lou?” Harry starts the dialogue but Louis finishes it because of his lack of patience. “What I want” He replies as he fists a handful of Harry’s long hair and tugs it back to get a better access of Harry’s neck. His breath hitches at the back of his throat, eyes dilated with lust lingering and the rush of adrenaline. He sinks his teeth into the milky white skin of Harry’s neck. Grazing his teeth and suckling on the sensitive flesh, he draws enough blood to the surface for it to symbolize that Harry is his.

He continues to play around with Harry’s neck, pressing kisses to the soft skin and forgetting about the poor cab driver.

…

Once they arrive at their hotel, Louis’ patience is at zero. They hurriedly run upstairs, hand in hand.

When they get to their room, Harry is slammed right against the wall, groaning at the tent that is being restrained by his tight black jeans. Louis notices it too and he pushes Harry onto the bed. He lies on his back, waiting for Louis to act upon it. Louis straddles the curly haired boy’s lap and shuffles his t-shirt up to his collar bones. Moving down, he unzips Harry’s jeans and hooks his fingers on the waistband of both his boxers and bottoms. Struggling a bit he pulls the heavy material off his legs.

 

Harry’s cock springs out promptly and slaps right against Harry’s toned body. Precome is leaking from the tip of his dick and Louis feels his mouth begin to water. He wants that inside him. He has had that inside him.

He can’t suddenly just drop a bomb on him because he feels horny. So he doesn’t. He decides he can just finger himself later on in the shower. Telling Harry should be during a time when he isn’t drunk and in need of a blow job.

“Babe what are you up to?” Harry innocently asks as if he doesn’t really know what Louis is about to do. But he damn well knows and he just wants Louis to say it.

“Don’t play dumb Haz, it ain’nt cute” Louis smirks back at his boyfriend who has underestimated him. He tweaks his nipples and presses a few kisses down his chest an down to his cock. He spreads the pre come with his thumb to act out as lube so he doesn’t pump Harry’s cock dry. He begins to pump Harry, earning a few whines and moans from his lips. He speeds his stroking up, flicking at Harry’s slit from time to time. The older boy is writhing and needy and loud. “Louis, fuck, Louis” He half-shouts as he throws is head back and concentrates on how good Louis’ hands are doing. He feels the warn and tugging feeling in the bottom of his stomach, his heart is pumping loud and clear and his thoughts are jumbled and nothing close to lucid. Louis’ must be a sin because once his lips enclosed around Harry’s dick he’s positive Louis is sin.

“Lou, oh god Lou can I fuck your mouth?” Harry asks, hands buried deep in the caramel coloured hair. Louis nods his head, few kitten licks at Harry’s tip, taking what he can of Harry back into his mouth. He hollows his cheeks, sucking and licking around the flesh and Harry lightly bucks his hips in hesitance. Louis looks upwards to capture the beauty of Harry’s face. He looks wrecked, plump lips with a few lovebites on his collar bone and neck. His hair is a mess, and his pupils have dilated with lust and a hint of needyness. When Louis gives Harry a look that reassures Harry, he picks up the strength and speed of his thrusts. Louis gags several times on his cock, a glaze of tears freshly in his eyes. A few slip down and Harry stops to wipe them away. “You ok baby boy? Do you want me to stop?” Harry questions as he lightly scratches Louis’ head. In response Louis bobs his head a few times up and down and Harry gets the messages and continues to rut into the younger boy’s mouth. He’s at his high within a few seconds and warning Louis that he’s about to come.

Louis pulls off when he feels a warm liquid beginning to shoot down his throat, having ribbons of white hot cum spill onto his face with lips swollen. “Fuck Louis I’m so sorry” Harry apologizes lightly even though he’s not sorry about it. Louis looks absolutely gorgeous and scalding. “I’ll um..go clean up” He says as he pushes himself off and grabs some tissues. He wipes the cum off and spits what shot into his mouth. He doesn’t like to swallow. Never did. The come contained too much calories for him to be able to handle.

“Louis come back and let me at least eat you out or something” Harry offers, thinking Louis’ dick must be painfully hard. Not knowing Louis was rather wet than hard.

“No, do you wanna take a shower first or should I?” Louis suggest as he sits beside Harry on the bed, and becomes ignorant to his previous offer. He strokes the unruly curls out of his face as he stares deep into his emerald green eyes that have gone back to normal.

“We can take one together, save some water” He cheekily replies but Louis cringes at the thought of that.

“Harry I need to tell you something” He speaks up, not wanting to break his eye contact and his voice. He felt himself begin to tremble and Harry sensed it. He was being uneasy and Harry figured it was his comment. “Louis god I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push or anything. How about you take it first” He expresses his regret and the previous comment is forgotten. “Thank you for understanding” Louis smiles wryly at him before he leaves for that shower.

…

Louis wasn’t sure of how he would get himself off. He’s never really bothered to touch himself because he would be turned off by the cunt that was hidden under his lacey panties. He always grimaced when he saw it, thinking about how if anyone knew they would call him an abomination. He thought it was repulsive and no one would love him because of it. He especially hated the fact that he had to have the menstruation and not to mention he could even get pregnant. It wasn’t much of a disgusting thing now considering how Harry was treating him. If Harry doesn’t end up leaving him and is open to the idea he wants Harry to make love to him down there.

Its been three weeks since he has been clean. Its been a long time since he has decided to stop. The only reason he has been clean was because Harry makes him forget the pain he endures. Thats the difference between forgetting and deciding he wants to stop. He promised to Harry. He has to stop, because if he doesn’t and Harry finds out then Harry will get mad.

Louis grabs the head of the shower, feeling a bit of shame creeping up onto him. He places the head between his thighs, shuddering at the pleasure it brought to him. He accidentally whimpers Harry’s name out, slapping a hand over his mouth with widen eyes.

…

“Harry” A high pitched sound comes from the bathroom. Curiosity crossing over Harry’s mind, he thinks maybe Louis made that noise in need of help. He shuffles off the bed and walks to the bathroom door. He hears Louis mumble his name a few times with a moan and profanities accompanying them.

Louis was getting himself off. He denied Harry’s help and decided to do it himself. Was he disgusted by him? Was Harry really bad at sex that Louis didn’t want Harry to touch him? Did he lie about when he said he had the best time in bed with him that night they had gotten drunk and _fucked-made love-fucked?_ He wasn’t sure what he should call it. But he does think about the amount of times they had done it in their relationship. None. They didn’t even go past snogging until tonight. He frowned and walked back to the bed, he should talk about it with Louis.

…

When Louis comes out of the bathroom, he has a pair of flannel pajama pants on and walks in with his hair fluffed dry and no shirt to avail on. “Do you want a shirt?” Harry asks and Louis freezes. Harry can feel the vibe Louis is giving off as frightened. “I um- no I’m good” He replies, being careful with is words. “Louis c’mere I want to talk” Harry gestures to his lap as he sits up and leans against the bed frame. Louis begins to dread and he is tense. He obeys and sits in his lap, Harry wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him to slot right against himself. He plays around with Louis’ hair for a bit, feeling him fidget with himself.

Swiping his fringe to the side he begins to talk “Are you..are you turned off by me or something? Like am I that bad at pleasuring you that you’d rather do it yourself?” He inquires and feels Louis’ body start to radiate heat, especially in his cheeks as they go red. “ _N-no_ ” He answers, gripping tightly onto Harry’s hands. He turns his head around to face Harry.

“Then why won’t you let me have all of you Lou? Please be honest” Harry begs, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Releasing one of Louis’ hands he pets his cheek, knuckles brushing against his skin. “It’s not you I swear to god Harry. Your perfect and all and well.. Frankly I’m not. I’m not ready to do anything at the moment that involves with my body. I’m a bit insecure about some parts and I’m just starting to like them. I promise you can have all of me when I’m ready” He says vaguely but with as much truth as he can. Harry smiles and presses another kiss to cheek. “Alright take your time, but know you’re perfect to me” He sweetly speaks and Louis smiles at that.

…

 

They wake up with a loud ring of Louis’ phone. He literally falls off the bed and gets himself together to grab it. When he does he sees his mum’s name flashing across the screen. He groans and presses to answer her.

“Hello?” He says in a cracked voice, rubbing his eyes. Harry yells a “Come back to bed” to him but Louis ignores it to answer his mother.

“Hi baby” He hears the sweet voice of his mother.

“Hey mum what’s up”

“What are you doing in London? And who’s the tall curly guy you were grinding against last night?” She wonders and Louis immediately chokes on his breath. Harry hears him and gets up to help him, whisper breath, Louis, breath.

“How the fuck do you know about that?” He swears as he looks up at Harry with some kind of warning.

“Language young man. And your grandmother told me, she went to get her daily magazine this morning and saw it” She says it as if it is nothing but it is. Louis feels himself choking even harder and unable to breath. His grandmother has seen a picture of him grinding on Harry.

“Louis? Louis, honey are you ok?” She worriedly asks.

“Why would you-? How-.. Jesus christ mum I don’t know how to tell you this but that curly haired boy happens to be my boyfriend Harry”

“Louis” Her voice is alarming and he knows that tone. She’s scared for him and the world out there. She’s watched him fall deeply in love and broken to pieces. She’s seen the way his face lights up and breaks down. She’s seen it all and she was afraid of when she had to let him go and explore the outside world, away from the comfort of her arms.

“Mum please. I promise you Harry isn’t Lucas. I was actually planning to bring him over today but I guess the surprise kind of got ruined” He explains hoping his mother would accept it.

Harry gives him a questioning look when Louis mentions Lucas because he has never really talked about him, but he doesn’t push Louis to tell him. He can do that when he’s ready. And if he simply doesn’t want to then he doesn't have to tell him.

Harry massages Louis’ back, thumbs rubbing into the flesh of his skin.

“Alright baby but remember why I sent you away. I didn’t expect you to come home the next time with another boy in your arms. If he’s not good enough and I disapprove then you know what you have to do” His mother demands but he smiles and replies with an “Alright bye mum”.

He hangs up after Jay says goodbye.

As if he was going to break-up with Harry because his mother disapproves. Besides she was going to love him.

…

 

Harry experiences a light head ache on their way to Louis’ parent’s house so they stop at a shop and buy him aspirin.

…

 

They ring the door bell, Harry nervously biting down on his lips. His hand is curled around a bouquet of flowers while the other one is occupied with Louis’ hands. His palms are clammy, he insist for Louis not to hold them because of it but Louis demands for him to hold his hand because otherwise he thinks he will faint. He was truly terrified of what his parents would think of Harry. With Harry’s career they might think differently about him and judge him on it by using that information. But if they actually get to know Harry like Louis had they would realize that he was just a teddy bear.

Louis remembers briefly when he was 11 years old his parents went to his school to talk to his teacher and his mother’s first impression about him was that he was one of those tough and abusive teachers just because he was built and extremely tall.

He turned out to be a soft teddy bear and they realized that sometimes the tall and brawny aren’t always petrifying and vile. Don’t judge a book from its cover.

The door opened and Daisy screamed in joy as she and Phoebe jumped into Harry and Louis’ arms. “Mummmmm Harry and Boobear are here” They giggled, Daisy tightly hugging onto Harry while Phoebe climbed off of Louis. “Dais get off I want a turn to hug Harry too” She complained frowning and pouting her lips with her arms crossing her chest. Louis tries to jumble his memory to figure out as to what Harry had done to make them love him more than Louis. It was probably the pancakes he had made them. Or maybe he did something more than just pancakes to win them over.

Louis stared at the girls and Harry in adoration as they fought over who would hug him. Handing the bouquet of flowers to Louis, Harry hoisted Phoebe into his arm, managing to keep both girls in his embrace. Within a few seconds Jay appears at the doorway and greets them with a “Hello” Smiling brightly as she pulled Louis into a hug, kissing his cheek. “Mum” He whines because how embarrassing is it to have your mum kiss your cheek in front of your boyfriend?

  
Harry chuckles as he sets the girls down, whispering something into their ear. They both nod and race back into the house. Harry grabs the bouquet of flowers from the ground where Louis had placed it as he had gone to hug his mother. Peeling himself off his mother, Louis takes Harry’s hand once more into his own and smiles at him to encourage him on. “Hello my name is Harry” He politely says as he hands the flowers to Jay. “Oh sweetheart your so polite. Call me Jay Harry, it’s nice to finally meet you” Louis’ mother practically cooes as if she has already fallen in love with him.

“Thank you for the lovely flowers Harry, why don’t you boys come in. Louis, your grandmother is waiting in the living room for you and your boyfriend. She has some ‘questions’ she wants to ask you both” She quotes as if to warn him as to what was to come. Louis thanks her and leads Harry inside.

…

“Oh Louis dear” His grandmother says as she stands up to greet Louis who hugs her and kisses her forehead. “Hi ma” He rejoices, one hand still on Harry’s. “This is-“ he begins but his grandmother cuts him off “That Canadian hockey player! My lord will you sign my jersey I’ve been dying to meet ya’” His grandmother walks around the coffee table and walks towards their decor treasure chest. Opening it up she brings out a pen and a hockey jersey with Harry’s last name and number printed on the back. She heads back and the boys are seated on the love-seat waiting for her. Handing the jersey and pen to Harry who accepts it, Harry quickly scribbles his signature on it and hands it back to her as she sits on the couch and begins to ask them ridiculously strange and inappropriate questions that one’s grandmother would never dare to ask but apparently his does. “Is it true he’s your new boy toy?” She wonders as she slips on the jersey on. “Ma!” Louis whines, covering his face in embarrassment. “No, no we’re dating. He means more to me than some toy” Harry gladly responds as if it’s nothing. He snakes an arm around Louis and pulls him closer in to kiss the corner of his forehead. “Aw you’re so adorable!” She comments, her hands clasped together in adoration. “Wait is Liam Payne dating Louis’ best friend Zayn? Is that rumour true?” “Ma where do you even come up with these kinds of questions?” Louis hesitantly inquires hoping his grandmother wont back fire.

“My magazine got mixed up a couple months back and with this one and it’s like all about the homosexual men so I got curious and order them and well now I’m up to date with all the greatest new gossips about gay couples around the world! By the way Louis were you doing the naughty with Harry last night? There’s a two page spread about you grinding on him and taking him back to your hotel” She rambled on and Louis became highly aware of how close his grandmother was becoming to telling Harry Louis’ secret. “Ma no! Can I please talk to you in private?” He gives Harry an apologetic look and Harry squeezes his hand in response and lets it go.

…

“What have I done wrong now dear?” They stand in Louis’ old room, talking about his grandmother’s behaviour.

“Ma Harry and I are not shagging or hooking up in the way you think we are. I don’t want to have this conversation but I haven’t told him about my hermaphrodite condition” He explains to her and she suddenly looks disappointed in him.

“Dear, you need to. You know what happened with Lucas. I don’t want to see you go through that again” Her smile has faded now and she seems very concerned.

“I will but when I’m ready alright?” He grabs her hand and leads her back to the living room.

“Alright but tell him soon”

“Oh and grandma, please stop talking about our relationship as if it’s based on shagging” He pleads and she agrees to stop. But as long as he tells them if Liam and Zayn are together. Which he replies with a yes and after she seems giddy and happy.

…

“Amen” Everyone around the dinner table says as they look up and begin to dig into the food.

Jay and Dan are smiling brightly as they sneak glances at Harry and Louis interacting during the dinner. Dan tells her how adorable they are together and they both agree that Harry is good for Louis. Perfect even.

Harry stabs his chicken and brings up to Louis’ mouth, feeding him from time to time his food. Louis’ mother had made one of Louis’ favourites. Caesar salad with chicken. It was simple but it didn’t have carbs and was easy for him digest without feeling heavy and bloated.

Louis did the same except he gave Harry some of his salad.

…

“So you girls ready for your surprise?” Harry asks as he bends down to level with Daisy and Phoebe. “Yes! Yes!” They squeal in joy, jumping up and down. “Jay is it alright if I take the girls and Louis for ice-cream?” He asks as he stands up, and with those words Fizzy and Lottie get up from the couch and ask if they could tag along. “Yes of course, but first I need to speak with Louis. Why don’t you play a game and Louis will be ready in about 5 minutes” She answers as she grabs Louis by his arm. Harry says a “Yeah” and Louis and Jay disappear into the kitchen.

“Mum what’s wrong?”  
“Your grandmother tells me you haven’t told Harry about your condition. Louis I’m really worried. Like what if you guys are heavily influenced by alcohol or-or on drugs or something and end up having sex and he doesn’t use a condom and you get pregnant and he leaves you huh?” She always thinks of the worst case scenarios. And that bothers Louis alot. “Mum I’m careful. Nothing bad is going to happen I promise. And Harry isn’t that careless. I’m also almost positive whether drunk or high he would recognize the difference between a cunt and a penis” He says and his mother stares at him with a scrunched up face when she hears the words Louis used to describe genitals. “Be safe that’s all I’m saying love” “I will mum. Love you” He kisses her on the cheek and she says a “I love you too” before he leaves.

“Ready for some ice-cream?” Harry asks when he goes back out.

…

 

In the week of Louis’ period, he thinks he and Harry have never gone on so many dates that involved eating food. Harry doesn’t realize Louis is taking him out to all these different places because he is in pain and craves for some food as comfort.

One night Harry decides to take Louis to a great Sushi place where they place their food on coloured trays on a train that goes around the tables and you can pick up whatever dish you want from the train or order something from the chef if you don’t see the one you want.

It’s Louis’ first time eating sushi and he’s a tad nervous because he doesn’t want to eat something raw. Harry assures him he will choose the food so Louis doesn’t eat something he does not like. When they get seated, Harry tries to teach Louis how to use the chopsticks but it’s useless because Louis just can’t do it. So he ends up feeding him, himself. It’s cute until Louis snaps and he apologizes for his sudden outburst, saying something about not being himself.

But Harry doesn’t question it further.

Louis knows it’s just the cramps and such getting to him and he needs to remain calm. It’s been four months and Harry still doesn’t suspect a thing. He thinks he will tell him eventually but eventually seems to never come.

…

One day Louis is in the kitchen, getting some popcorn to watch some sap movie Harry has chosen when he hears Harry ask where the toilet paper rolls are located. Louis yells back under the sink, forgetting that his own ‘girl’ toiletries were down there as well. That’s until Harry shouts back asking why there are tampons under the sink. Louis lies telling him they were for a prank on Zayn and Harry believes him.

…

 

Its a week before their six month anniversary and Louis thinks it’s time to tell Harry. He invites him over one night, snuggled up against him in bed as they watch Breaking bad episodes together.

“Haz I-I have to tell you something” Louis murmurs, his heart pounding in his chest, breath shaky with the rush of adrenaline. “I have to tell you something first” Harry speaks up himself. Louis tenses up because if he’s about to break up with him it would save Louis the trouble to even bother telling him so he gestures for him to go first. “I don’t know if it’s too early and maybe I’m being stupid but I think-I mean no.. I know **_I love you_** ” The words ring through his head and Louis thinks he feels a little dizzy.

He doesn’t know whether to feel relieved or happy or angry. But he just shakes his head and says to him “You-you can’t. That’s not possible” he shouts “Louis you can’t just tell me how I can feel. If I say I love you I mean it. _Do you- **Do you not love me back**_?” he stammers and yells, feeling strained and unsure. “Fuck of course I do but what I am about to tell you is going to make you change your mind” “No it won-“ ”It will just fucking listen to me” He screams, insisting so Harry stops to listen.

“ ** _I have a cunt_** ” He says in a much calmer voice. Harry blinks bluntly a few times before registering what Louis is saying. “I’m sorry it sounded like you just said you have a vagina” Harry lightly chuckles for a second as if it was a joke. “Harry that is what I said and this isn’t a fucking joke” He raises his voice because Harry did not just do that. “Louis stop playing games with me, I know you don’t I’ve seen your bulge” Harry half-shouts because he did not enjoy yelling at his lover. “You want to know why I never slept with you huh? It’s because I have a pussy Harry and if you don’t believe me then go ahead and fucking leave” Louis hisses and it catches Harry’s attention. He was right. Harry has never seen Louis naked, even with just his pants off. “So our relationship was based on lies? Did you fucking lie to me about everything Louis?” He gets angry, and he tries to control it because he knows he will end up doing something regretful.

“No! I never lied to you unless I had to” “Is this what your fucking secret is Louis? Is this why you kept this secret from me?” He gets off the bed, stomping around to Louis side to pull the duvet. “Harry what are you doing?” Louis whimpers, scared that Harry would hit him. “Let me see it” He demands but Louis protests “Harry p-please don’t, I don’t want you to see me like that” He pleads but his boyfriend doesn’t listen. He yanks Louis’ sweats down to reveal the panties with no bulge, he moves it to the side a bit to unravel what was there.

Louis wasn’t lying.

And Harry knew he was going to do something he was going to regret but he didn’t want to accidentally hit Louis. So he pulled away, pulling Louis’ sweats back up. He blankly stares at him for a few minutes, watching tears spill down his cheek. He badly wanted to hold him and tell everything was going to be alright but he couldn’t because Louis lied to him and didn't even bother to tell him. He didn’t even give Louis a chance to explain himself but he needed some time alone to think through with this. Was he going to break-up with the caramel haired boy or talk to him about what would happen next? He wasn’t sure and he didn’t want to make a mistake. It was all too much to be dumped onto him in one night. When he had these kind of problems he would runaway from them and that’s what he was about to do. “Harry no I’m sorry please don-don’t leave me Harry please I’m sorry” He pleads as he tries to grab Harry’s arms. “Louis I can’t talk about this right ok. _I’m done_ ” He replies as he goes to grab his coat. “D-done with us?” Louis stutters out, needing the company of him to hold him but Harry denies it. “No, done with this conversation for the moment. I need to get some fresh air and decide what we should do next. Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone I promise I will come back” He says wrapping a scarf around his neck. “Can-can I come walk with you?” He asks but Harry doesn’t reply and leaves Louis there.

…

It’s been nearly twenty minutes before Harry realizes that leaving Louis was a mistake.

He knows he won’t break up with Louis. He has fallen for him fast and hard. He’s in love with him for crying out loud. He doesn’t know where the idea of breaking up with Louis came from but he knows he won’t do that to him ever. He also realizes that he never allowed Louis to explain to him why he did it. He remembers vaguely that Louis was abused because of one of his secrets but Louis’ never really mentioned which one.

When its been 30 minutes past when finally Harry registers that he left Louis in the middle of a fight. Alone. At home where there are sharp objects. He curses at how stupid he is and gets a cab to Louis flat.

…

He practically sprints upstairs and busts the front door open. “Louis, baby where are you?” He yells, tears running down his rosy cheeks. “Lou” He yells, hearing the Breaking bad episode on replay accompanied by sobbing come from Louis’ room. He rushes in there to find Louis crouched down on the ground with a sharp blade in his hand, reopening wounds even deeper than before. “Louis no” He screams as the younger boy’s head snaps up. Harry grabs his hand that held the blade and pulls it away. “No stop” Louis protests, trying to pull way from Harry’s grip. “Louis give me the blade” He demands but Louis won’t budge. “Louis I don’t want to hurt you now give me the blade” He warns and Louis glares at him. “ ** _You left me_** ” He states in a broken sob. “Baby I know and I’m sorry, I won’t do that ever again. Now please Louis, please give me the blade” He pleads, as he cups Louis’ bloodied arm. He winces when he looks down at them. There are three deep cuts on his wrist. He had done this. This was all his doing.

Louis lets go of the blade and Harry asks if he’s allowed to touch Louis. “Y-yeah..Just d-don’t hit me please” He begs in a whimper and Harry’s heart breaks in half because of it. “Louis I would never. Not now not ever, now I need to call an ambulance to-“ He is about to get his phone out when Louis yells “No!” and slaps the phone out of his hand. “Louis I have to, these cuts are very deep. They might need stitching” Harry scratches Louis’ head, feeling his tensity lower. “You stitch them then” “Louis your going to be in pain I can’t do that to you again” He objects but Louis continues to insist that he is already in pain he won’t feel anything.

“You sure about it?” Harry makes sure one last time before he scoops Louis up in bridal style and carries him out to the kitchen. He places him on the counter and gets the first aid kit. Cleansing the blood out first he then threads the needle, and begins to stitch the wounds.

Once he is done, he places a gauze on Louis’ wounds and wraps a bandage around it to keep it there. “Alright done. Do you want some ice-cream babe?” He offers as he grabs a bucket of Moose tracks ice-cream for Louis who nods his head eagerly. “How about this. I will take you to bed, feed you ice-cream and dress you for bed if you tell me two things. First, where you hide all you’re blades and second, explain about your issue and why you didn’t tell me till now. Is that fair?” Harry quirks an eyebrow, wiping a tear that slipped down his cheek. “What are you going to do with the blades?” Louis wonders “What I should’ve done months ago” Harry cups his face, kissing his nose.

“I um..I hide them in my sock drawer” He says with shame. Harry nods his head, and slides his arms under Louis’ body to carry him back to bed. Louis grabs the ice-cream and a spoon as Harry hoists him into his embrace.

When they get to bed, Harry gently places Louis down and goes to rummage through his drawer. He finds a few blades but he still feels as if there is more. Louis will probably get mad at him if he asks if there is more. He thinks Zayn might have a clue as to where there’s more so he decides to ask him later on about it to take those as well. He also wants to hide all the sharp objects in the house but he decides against it because it would be too hard for him and Louis would definitely get mad. ‘Maybe keeping him at my place will be easier to keep him away from sharp objects’ he ponders to himself. He leaves the room for the bathroom and throws the blades down the toilet, flushing it without a second thought.

Going back to the bed, he pulls the duvet over himself and Louis, pulling him into his lap and opening the top of the ice cream bucket. “Ok Lou, do you want to talk about your issue now or do you want to do it later?” He patiently asks, scooping some ice cream onto the spoon and placing it to Louis’ lips. “You’re going to have to stop feeding me first” Harry stops and begins to intently listen to what his lover was about to say. “Don’t like.. interrupt me, or give me those sad faces. Just let me talk first and then…yeah” “Ok” He agrees and places his hands on Louis’ thighs.

“When I was born my parents thought that I was a girl but when the doctor asked what gender they wanted me to be they were confused. He explained to them that I was intersexual. I had both girl and boy genes. So my mother chose for me to be a boy. My dad left her after because he thought I was some freak or abomination or burden. So my mother continued to raise me as a boy, even though there were times I would want to do girly things. My mum almost didn’t let me join ballet because of my condition. She wanted me to join footie or basketball but I didn’t like them so she allowed me to join ballet. It turned out that I liked it and I was good at it so she let me continue it. When I was five my mum had gotten my cousin a barbie doll for Christmas. I ended up opening her present by accident and I started to play with the doll. When my mum had seen what happened she told me that boys don’t play with dolls and I cried. She ended up giving me some train toys and I didn’t even bother touching them all year. By the time I was eleven, Lottie was four and Fizzy was around two. I was in the backyard playing with them and we decided to play dress up. The girls didn’t know what my condition was back then since they were too young to understand. Anyways so we were in the yard and the girls wanted me to be their fairy god mother. They dressed me up and I helped them dress as the princesses. They even put make-up on me, like lipstick and eye shadow. We were having so much fun until mum came into the yard and she dropped the plate of sandwiches she had made for us. She yelled at me for touching her make-up without her permission and was just disappointed in me. I didn’t really understand what was wrong and why she was so mad. I still didn’t realize that boys don’t do things like that. My mum had trouble trying to accept the fact that I had feminine features. When I was fourteen. The girls decided to paint my nails and I thought why not, they look pretty on their hands so they should look nice on mine. When my step-father Mark found us in the kitchen with painted nails he just kind of got mad. I still didn’t understand why but he grounded me for two weeks. All I ever wanted was to be accepted. When I turned fifteen I changed schools. And one day I went into the change room for gym and I realized all these guys had penis’s and balls and that I didn’t. So I changed in one of the bathrooms and when I went home I told my mum what had happened and she decided it was time I would be taken to the doctor. She didn’t really want to explain why I was like the way I was so she got a doctor to do. After that I don’t think I did anything that my feminine side wanted me to do. I just kind of kept it inside. All my friends would talk about how good it felt to pound into pussy while I just sat there thinking ‘Hey I have a pussy’. A few years later I got my first girlfriend and she was great. Her name was Hannah. But when she asked me why we didn’t do anything sexual and that she wanted to lose her virginity to me. I freaked out and I told her what I was. She didn’t freak out or leave or hit me. She actually just said ‘Oh’ and we broke up afterwards. It was as easy as that. I even realized I didn’t like girls like that. So I just kinda of gave up for a bit and focused on my ballet. Then when I turned nineteen my therapist gave me an ‘assignment’ to find true love. And so as stupid as I thought it was, I went and got my first boyfriend Lucas. He was the sweetest and most perfect boyfriend. I actually thought he was the one and we would end up getting married and I would have his children. But when I decided it was time to tell him, when I thought I was ready it turned out he was not who I thought he was. He called me some sick names and beat me up until I had three broken ribs, a bloodied nose and a black eye. Zayn later on found me in my room like that and called the ambulance. After it I was diagnosed with anorexia. Of course I didn't think it was anorexia but an unhealthy diet for me to lose weight and hurt myself. I blamed it on myself. No one knew not even my therapist. That’s until the accident. After it I vowed not to hurt myself in a way that would expose me. So my cutting started. My parents decided to sent me away somewhere else. So they sent me to my grandparents in a small town in Ontario. I moved out with Zayn few months after it, when he had agreed to move to Ontario for me. And then I just kinda met you afterwards and Harry I was scared to hell with the way you made me feel. I kept denying that I didn’t like you but I did and god dammit I fell head first and fast. I was confused and tried to keep myself away, I kept thinking if I gave you a chance that you would hurt me like Lucas did or you would leave me. But Haz, Harry, Harold. Even though tonight was dreadful and you hurt me a lot I am still thankful that you came back. I’m so sorry I had to lie to you and keep this away from you. I knew you were never Lucas but I was really scared. You have to understand I went through a lot and have so many dreadful memories from it. Two of the most important people in my life left me, and although they aren’t important anymore they left and that’s what I was terrified of. I didn’t want to add your name to the list” He finally finishes as he takes a breath. He kept Mikey out of the story because Harry knew about it and he understood that Mikey would’ve been another figure in his life that hurt him.

Harry takes his hands and squeezes them.”I’m sorry too. I was an absolute twat and I was scared I would hit you. I promise to never leave you ever. I love you” He says, a tear escaping the corner of his eye as he presses a kiss to Louis’ cheek. He scratches Louis’ head, earning soft purrs from him as if he was a cat.

“I love you too” He purrs and nuzzles his face into the crook of Harry’s neck.

….

 

Its been a few days after they’ve confessed their love for one another. They’re on the couch watching another romance movie as usual, cuddled up under a blanket. It had been another drowsy day for both of them.

Zayn spent so much time at Liam and Harry’s flat that he practically had moved in. It went the same way for Louis and Harry. Harry spent a lot of time in Louis and Zayn’s flat that he basically lived there. So they had the flat to themselves.

The movie is just about to have the sex scene come in when Harry feels Louis’ body tense. His cheeks are tinted the colour of red and he can feel his body radiating with heat. He’s wearing one of Harry’s sweaters that swallow his tiny figure. With nothing but a pair of white lacey panties on. Harry had asked Louis to stop wearing the pads that made him look as if he had a pear. So Louis obligates and doesn't wear them when he is around Harry.

Harry can feel a slight trickle down his thighs and he freezes. There was only one explanation. Louis was wet. And he didn’t know what to do. He wants to touch Louis so badly down there but he’s not sure if he’s allowed. He knows how insecure Louis is about it.

He notices Louis spreading his legs a bit wider, snuggling his bum right against Harry’ crotch.

If thats not a sign then he’s not sure what is. He places his hands on Louis’ thighs and trails them up slowly. “Haz what are you doing?” Louis curiously asks, looking up at his older boyfriend. “Relax baby, I’m just going to make you feel good” Harry coos in his ear. But Louis tenses up. _His fingers trace pattens on Louis’ panties, teasing his cunt. Toying with the fabric, Harry’s fingers dive in_. They’re pressing right against Louis’ clit, rubbing in circles- “Haz I don’t think that’s a good-“ He’s about to say idea but he has to swallow his breath and clutch Harry’s thighs tightly because _oh._

_Oh that felt good._

_And Louis didn’t know it would._

“ _Nghhh uh_ ” He whimpers. _Fuck_ it feels _amazing_ he thinks. He bucks his hips shallowly, wanting to scream Harry’s name because there’s that tugging feeling in his stomach and Harry’s doing so well. He presses a few kisses to Louis’ exposed neck, one had gripping on his hip. “You like that Lou?” He purrs in his ear, biting his lobe delicately. “ _Uh uh uh Harry_ ” Louis moans in high octaves in response. Harry speeds up his finger, moving in circles. “ _I’m c-close_ ” Louis says in a high tone and within a few seconds he comes into his panties, screaming Harry’s name loud enough for the neighbours to know who made him feel this amazing, fingernails desperately digging into the flesh of Harry’s thighs.

“Was t-that o-okay?” Harry shyly wonders as Louis turns around and wraps his arms around his neck and and rests his head on his chest. “I don’t know. Why don’t we ask the neighbours who’s name I was screaming” He jokes, Harry chuckling at him. “Do you want me to clean you up?” Harry offers, wrapping Louis’ legs around him and turning the TV off to move into the bedroom. “Y-yeah” he stammers, holding onto him like a koala as he is taken to bed.

…

 

It’s their anniversary and Harry is a nervous wreck. He went to Louis’ flat earlier to cook some dinner and set up something romantic for the both of them. He made a trail of rose pedals from the front door to Louis’ room. Scattering more rose pedals on Louis’ bed and it’s surroundings. Lighting candles, he even made a playlist of Louis and his favourite romantic songs.“Haz?” he hears a shaky British accent call out once he has finished all the decorations and such.

“Oh my fucking god Haz? Did you do this all?” He greets Louis in the living room, who’s eyes are attached to the dinner laying on the table with candles lit surrounding it. “Hi baby! Happy six month anniversary” He cheerfully says as Louis sees him. “Did you do this?” Louis repeats in shock and disbelief. Maybe Harry really was a Disney Prince or maybe he was just a romantic sap. He didn’t which one but it didn’t really matter because he thinks he really has found his Prince. “Yeah babe” Harry nods and leans to capture Louis’ lips in his. Its a quick kiss but it leaves Louis breathless. “Haz I love it so much thank you” He speaks as he sits down and Harry repeats his actions.

They sit quietly and eat, smiling fondly at each other and exchanging a few words.

“Louis are your trees oak-ay” Harry jokes and Louis whines and lightly slaps his arm to tell him how bad of a joke he had just told. They laugh at a few more of the stupid jokes before they are done and Harry grabs the dishes and goes to put them in the sink. When he comes back, Louis advances towards him and kisses him on the lips, arms locking around his neck. Harry places his hands on Louis’ hips, as Louis stands on his tiptoes to kiss his lover. He tilts his head and deepens the kiss, moving his lips in sync with Harry’s as they kiss passionately. Harry tugs on Louis’s shirt, quickly pulling away for no more than a few seconds to pull his sweater off. He reattaches his lips onto Louis’, grabbing his thighs and wrapping them around his torso.

Leading them into the bedroom, Louis pulls away to catch his breath but it seems to disappear as they enter the room. There are rose pedals all over his bedroom and on his bed, his and Harry’s favourite songs playing lightly in the background on a loop. “Oh my god Haz are you even real?” His smile is wide and he really can’t believe it. “Do you..Do you like it or is it too much?” Harry asks in worry as Louis hops off of him and walks towards the bed. Turning on his heel grabs Harry’s collar and pulls him into a chaste kiss “Of course you idiot” He squeaks, one of Harry’s legs slipping into his but he trips and falls onto the bed. Hovering over him, Harry presses small kisses to his cheeks, nose, forehead, and finally lips, making Louis giggle. “Haz what are we doing?” Louis asks, feeling a little insecure with his shirt off. He tugs on Harry’s t-shirt and Harry gladly takes his shirt off. “I’m not too sure myself Lou, what do you want?” He replies not making another move.

Louis freezes because this was it. Was he ready? He wanted it and he was sure Harry did too but he was scared Harry would be turned off and disgusted by him. He wanted it _down there_. He knew it was very intimate but he wanted that kind of intimacy with Harry because he loved him.

“ _M-make love to me_?” He shies away once the words leave his lips. “ _D-down here_ ” He murmurs but clear enough for Harry to understand where he was talking about. He didn’t get a answer immediately like he had hoped he would. Harry was staring blankly at him and Louis sensed he was uncomfortable. “You know what never mind, forget it I was being stupid” He tries to rationalize with himself as he is about to shift away from Harry. “Lou, no, _I want to_ ” Harry insists and grabs Louis’ hand to pull him back. “I mean it baby, I just. I’ve never done it before” He explains and Louis nods his head and speaks “Me neither”.

Now Louis understands Harry’s gay but he was never sure if he would ever even consider what they were about to do. Although it doesn't really make a difference for Harry whether Louis had a dick or a pussy because all that matter for him was being able to make love to whom he was in love with. That’s all that matter. To make Louis feel safe and loved. He wanted to please him like never before.

“I um..don’t have a condom” Louis nervously informs Harry and he smiles and chuckles at him.

“I do, but do you really want this?” He wants to know Louis for sure wants this as much as he wants it. In response Louis nods his head eagerly, and places his hands on Harry’s buckle. Unbuckling it he slips it off, taking his pants off as well. Harry helps Louis shimmy out of his sweats and lie down on his back. Harry presses a few kisses along on Louis’ jaw, and trails down his chest. He stops at his stomach and hips, knowing how much Louis disliked those areas he cupped his hips and kissed the scars one by one Louis had, had made upon his skin.

“I’m gonna make you feel so good Lou” He whispers and Louis looks down and places his hands on Harry’s head. He shudders at the feeling of Harry’s lips against his skin bringing him a tingling sensation. “Harry hurry up” He whines annoyed at how Harry can be so patient. Louis was already wet and he didn’t know whether Harry was hard or not. Harry shot back up and gently kissed Louis, cupping his face. They grinded their crotches against one another, small moans eliciting into the kisses. “Mmm Haz” Louis whimpers the last part out.

They pull away and Harry goes to reach for the condom and a bottle of lube. “You sure about this?” He asks one more time and Louis nods his head. He slips out of his briefs, rolling the condom on he slathered his length with lube. Louis peels his white panties off and grabs the duvet to hide himself. When Harry looks back at what Louis has done he frowns and sweetly says a “Don’t hide yourself beautiful” He pries the duvet way from Louis and presses a reassuring kiss to his cheek.

“You ready?” He asks as he places himself at Louis’ entrance. “Y-yeah, go s-slow” he stutters out, gripping onto Harry’s bicep. He feels tears slipping down when Harry begins to push in slowly. He’s really big and Louis has never had a anything close to his size inside him. Which is probably why he’s a virgin but jesus christ it hurt. “Ha-Harry” He cried, burying his head into his shoulder, biting down on the skin as he clawed at his back. He dragged his finger nails down his back, marks being made for the next morning. “Hey beautiful, relax for me. Lou relax” He soothes as he has pushed all the way in. He waits there until Louis tells him to go. “Alright Harry” he whispers and Harry pulls back a bit, pushing back in. He can see a stream of tears down Louis’s cheeks so he kisses him and asks if Louis wants to stop. He gets a no back and Louis is asking for him to go faster. He grants his wish and thrusts in shallowly but faster. He’s not sure how to find Louis’ g-spot but he knows it must be like a prostate right? He swerves his hips a bit, enjoying Louis’ tight heat surrounding his cock. “Louis god” He moans as he angles his hips and finds Louis’ sensitive spot. “ _HarryHarryHarry_ ” Louis whimpers, because _wow. Holy jesus. Wow_. He has never felt something so intense and pleasurable in his life. It hurt at first but was worth the wait and the hurt. Not to mention it was with Harry. The boy who he had fallen deeply in love with and who had shared the same feelings towards him. “I love you so much Louis ” He coos along with the sounds of the creaking bed and the romantic songs playing in the background. Beads of sweat had built upon their foreheads, the smell of scented candles being breathed in with their love. Harry ruts in faster and deeper, hitting the right spot. Louis’ already arching his back slightly, toes curling and he knows he is about to reach his climax. “Harry I’m close” He warns Harry but Harry is close too. Within the next few thrusts, balls deep in and smacking against Louis’s skin as he screams “Harry” biting down on his neck. In sync they come and Harry collapses on top of Louis. “I love you” Louis mumbles into his ear.

…

 

When they wake up the next morning Harry offers Louis the shower to which Louis declines.

“I heard we could save some water showering together from a specific curly haired boy” He cheekily replies and Harry keenly agrees. Who doesn’t love saving the environment and showering with your loved one?

…

Harry loves Louis with wet hair, and wet chest and his wet _bum_. He’s especially in love with his bum because golly jeez it’s huge. He likes playing with it, playfully slapping it a few times and pinching the flesh. This caused Louis to squeal. Not to mention it made his bum red and sore.

Harry cups his bum as Louis tries to wash his hair, fingernails lightly digging into his scalp as he massages it. Harry kneads his bum with is hands, giving Louis a massage in return. Raising his bum he let go of them and they bounced up and down. “Hazzz stop” He whines but it goes unnoticed by Harry “Either stop or your going to have to fuck me against the wall if you want to continue” Louis smirks at what he had just said and Harry smiles back at him and agrees. He nips down at Louis’ lips and flips him around, pinning him against the wall. “How much do you want it Lou?” He asks, wanting to hear Louis beg. He grabs a bottle of some kind dense liquid that he knows could substitute as lube. “I don’t want it I need it Haz, fuck please fuck me already” he pleads as Harry coats his fingers. He presses a finger in, a squeak escaping Louis’ lips. He wasn’t used to this, having something intrude the sanctuary of his bum. “For crying out loud hurry” He whined as he rutted back onto Harry’s finger. “Patience baby” Harry answered as he tucked in his second finger, inserting it in and out. He scissored his fingers and stretched Louis’ hole out. “Harry please, I want your big cock inside of me already” He begs and Harry was taken back a bit by this side of Louis. Last night Louis was barely even said a sentence when they made love, but he could grow to like this side of Louis. He was confident and asked for what he wanted.

Harry pulls his fingers out and adds a third finger, letting Louis grind back onto his fingers. He whined because he couldn’t find his sweet spot and Harry stood there and smirked at him and decided to help him. He curled his fingers and brushed against Louis’ prostate, making him mewl.

“Harry m’ ready” Louis informs him and Harry pulls his fingers out. He once again grabs the lube an coats his shaft. “Lou you ok if I don’t use a condom?” Harry asks and Louis replies with “Yeah wanna feel you”. Harry has no idea when Louis discovered what he wants and likes and needs but he has never heard anything so hot. He obligates because really who is he to deny Louis pleasure? He pushes slowly past his entrance and and once he is in he waits no more than a few seconds before he begins to grind back into Louis bum. “Haz!” Louis squeals because he did not warn him and _yeah it hurt_. “S-sorry Lou, fuck you feel so god damn good” He apologizes as he picks up the speeds of his thrusting, Louis closing his eyes in haze of euphoria. “F-fuck Harry” He moans in a high octave. Harry grips on Louis’ waist, eyes closed and moans escaped his mouth as he fucks Louis against the wall mercilessly. He drives himself into the sweet spot of Louis’ deep. “ _Harry_ ” Louis cries as he clutches onto the tiles, face wrecked and eyes shut tight. “Come on Louis come for me, come for me sweetheart” Harry coos into Louis’ ear and Louis could feel that wrenching feeling and Harry could feel his hole clench around him even tighter than before and he just knows Louis is close. “Come on beautiful” He says once more and those three words drove Louis over the edge.

…

When Louis and Harry clean each other up, they finish their shower by Harry washing Louis’ hair and washing both their bodies before wrapping Louis and himself in towels and heading into the bedroom.

…

One night they’re out with Zayn, Liam, Niall, and Ally, Niall’s girlfriend. They’re at a restaurant with them and Louis could feel Harry’s hands on his thigh, dangerously near his crotch. He decides he is not going to give in and tease Harry back but even worse.

He ends up giving him a handjob under the table and boy Harry nearly exposes them. He bites the back of his hand and when the food comes he moans and makes an excuses about how good the food is even though it tastes ok. He does end up coming in his pants, very embarrassed and he covers the come stains by using Louis.

…

 

“Lou?” Harry asks one day as he sits next to Louis on the couch.

“Yeah babe?” He replies.

“My parents want to meet you” he blurts out and Louis is a bit shocked.

He’s not sure what to really say but he agrees to meeting them and they set a date.

…

They’re at Harry’s house in the suburbs. Louis’ nervously clutches onto Harry’s arm as they stand on the doorsteps.

A door opens as a beautiful women soon appears. _Seems like good looks run in the family_ Louis ponders to himself.

“Oh my god you guys are finally here” She squeals with enthusiasm as she goes to hug Louis first. He’s taken back a bit by it but hugs her back because she is Harry’s mother after all and she feels like home. She greets Louis, telling him that he could call her Anne. When she finishes, Harry smiles at her and gives her a hug and a kiss.

“Welcome back baby” She mutters into Harry’s ear as she welcomes them into their home.

…

They sit down for dinner and Harry’s mother has made tons of food, but none of which he could eat. He takes some of the soup and a but of the salad. Chewing the veggies down, Anne notices how he went for the the least tasty foods and begins to ask him “Louis would you like some of the lasagna its Harry’s favourite?” She offers him as she hands him the dish. Louis doesn't want to protest because its Harry’s mother and he doesn't want to be rude. He’s about to take a bit, and Harry could feel the uneasiness. “Mum, why don’t you let Louis eat whatever he wants” He warns her, giving a glare and Anne would usually take it as a warning or some kind of a hint but this time she didn’t. “Well I wasn’t trying to push, I was just suggesting” She retorts back but she wasn’t going to fight with him, only reason. “Haz it’s fine, I wanted some anyway” Louis assures his lover and Harry smiles at him and says “ok” cooling off promptly.

…

They’re about to go out for ice-cream when Harry’s mum asks to speak with him.

“What is going on with Louis?He barely even finished his lasagna” She wonders, with a hand on her hip.

“Mum he can’t eat it. He had a _eating disorder_ and ever since he doesn’t eat a lot. You can’t just shove things down people’s throats” He rolls his eyes at her and doesn't expand on telling anything more about Louis because it’s Louis’ secrets and they’re something he shared with Louis. It was only between him and Harry.

“Oh. I’m sorry I didn’t know” She says as her face drops.

“Is he alright?” She continues and Harry replies with a yes.

…

 

“Louis, darling you ready for ice-cream?” Harry asks as he goes back into the living room. Louis is dressed in warm clothes, a sweater and a parka on top with rain boots. He nods his head and Harry grabs his coat.

“Mum do you want ice-cream?” Harry yells back to ask his mum as his father had not made it home yet.

“No thanks sweetheart have fun and come back soon” She shouts back.

…

When they arrive at the ice-cream shop they both ordered their ice-creams and sit down on a couch that is provided. “You how much I love you?” Harry asks Louis “How much?” “More than this scoop of ice-cream” He cheekily replies back.

“Harrryyyyy stooopp” Louis whines as Harry sloppily kisses his cheek.

“Never” He responds as he licks his ice-cream and goes to kiss Louis on the lips. Pulling back he moans at the taste and mumbles “Honey?” and Louis murmurs back at him “Yeah” and then licks his lips and asks back “Chocolate mint?” And Harry nods a yes.

“You know if that’s your way of telling me I love you, then I love you too Haz” Louis speaks up. And Harry murmurs an ‘I love you’ back.

“Lou you got some ice-cream on your face” Harry informs him and Louis asks where but Harry doesn't answer him. His face inches closer to Louis’ face and he whispers “Here” before he attaches his lips with Louis.

 

**_And in that moment Louis realized he was finally accepted and finally truly loved for who he was and not for who he hid to be._ **

****

**_And thats the story of how Louis Twinklinson and Harry Cheekytightpants fell in love._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last two sentences were probably my favourite to write. I hope you liked it. Let me know if you did by leaving kudos and comments.
> 
> I AM WRITING AN EPILOGUE FOR This
> 
> Disclaimer: This fic was not made to be anything but a fictional story. If you took the concept of hermaphroditism and the anatomical inaccuracies too serious then please stop because once again this is a fictional story and it was not made for people to feel bad in anyway or make people critique the writing choices that I make. I am not ok with people making such comments unless it really has to do with my writing then I would take consideration into it. 
> 
> This fic was made to reassure those with insecurities towards their body and not being able to believe that someday someone will love them. I am like that in many ways but I always remind myself that if a guy can be sexually attracted to fruit then someone will love me for who I am. I want anyone and every one who has read this fic to realize your insecurities should not be insecurities. If you think for example that your thighs or your stomach is bloated I promise you it's not. It's cute. My mom always told me people with more flesh are cuddlier (Idk if thats even a word). If you think your too skinny or your flat chested I will tell you this: That's great. Because a) Boobs make it harder to exercise because they bounce and in some cases they could give you a black eye B) Being skinny isn't something thats considered bad. One of my friends is a size two and in the grade that she is in she is considered underweight but trust me she eats like there is no tomorrow. She went to the doctor and asked for pills to make her gain weight. Some people don't understand that whether you are a size two or a size 12 you will still have insecurities but whatever body shape or other insecurities you have remember you were made with love and your body is something you should love so stop trying to change yourself because of what society considers 'perfect'. And if you're scared no one will love you then remember that if some people are sexually to fruit or a car then there is someone out there who is right for you will love you for you.
> 
> Another thing that I also wanted to talk about is I do not want any rude commentaries about the terms in which I used in this fic. I simply was not educated enough to get the right term and I apology if this comes as offensive in anyway. In the Epilogue/sequel I don't use the term as much but I have changed it to Intersexuality and I just wanted to say that I am so sorry if this story was offensive but it was not meant to be. Please do not also make rude commentaries to other people who recommend this fic, on Tumblr I saw my favourite blog rec this and I was absolutely ecstatic but someone made a comment about it and although it was not rude but simply trying to educate us more I still was uncomfortable for someone to make another comment about my fic about the terms in which I used. 
> 
> (Edited October 20th)

**Author's Note:**

> The spacing is kinda bad but I'm tired... This fic made me really tired. Anyways I don't know when I'll be updating any of my fics since I'm going to Cali on Thursday the 10ths and won't be back till the 26th
> 
> Any please leave KUDOS and COMMENTS to let me know if you liked it

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Hockey Player And The Ballerina](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3986473) by [malishka1011](https://archiveofourown.org/users/malishka1011/pseuds/malishka1011)




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